


Destiny

by Loveisneverfar2019



Category: Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-02-04
Packaged: 2019-10-06 18:08:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 11
Words: 25,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17350061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Loveisneverfar2019/pseuds/Loveisneverfar2019
Summary: Sora- "This is my story, the story how I lost the love of my life and found him again. See what I had to go through." /Warning: abuse and yaoi and self harm in later chapters.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have written this story in so many ways. At the moment I am trying it in Sora POV but it could change again. These characters are AU so its not really based on what they went through in there storylines. Enjoy though.

Disclaimer: Don't own Kingdom Hearts

Story: This is my story, the story how I lost the love of my life and found him again. See what I had to go through. /Warning: abuse and yaoi and self harm in later chapters.

A/N: Let me tell you how this story drove me nuts trying to write it because there was so many ways to do it that I didn't know what to settle with. So doing it this way. Be aware even though there is yaoi I can never write it out. There is also abuse and self harm in this so click away now if you can't handle it.

Chapter 1

_Beep beep beep_

_My name is Sora Heart and you might think I am sick or something because I am in this hospital bed bandage head to toe._

_Beep beep beep_

_But I am not._

_In order for me to explain why I am here I have to tell you my story from the beginning..._

Backtracking from when I was 13 and school year was starting. I came out to my family as gay and there was a boy that moved into a house down the block.

"Sora what are you staring at?" Tifa my mother came out the house looking at the new people moving in "Oh we have new neighbors".

"Where?" Roxas my 12 year old brother, looked in the same direction "Is that a boy or girl with the white hair".

"Roxas dont be rude" Tifa said to start walking over there "Well come on now we have to introduce ourselves"

Roxas sigh to follow her and I followed him. My heart was beating fast as we got closer.

"Hey you guys need any help" Tifa asked.

"No we are actually almost done. Thank you" the woman looked at us with box in arms that a kid with blonde hair took from her.

I notice the white hair boy come back out and look at me and I looked away blushing.

"Let me welcome you guys to the neighborhood. My name is Tifa Heart, my husband Leon Heart is working. This is my youngest Roxas Heart and my oldest sora heart."

"Nice to meet you, my name is Fran White, my husband Kadaj White is around here somewhere" Looks around to wave hand "Anyway the blonde hair kid was my oldest Cloud and this troublemaker is Riku".

"I am not a troublemaker" Riku mumble cutely.

I couldn't help but chuckle softly.

Tifa went over to Fran to talk about school starting when I notice Cloud pushing Riku close to me and Roxas "So you two know any cool place around here?".

Roxas shrug "This town is lame. You usually need to go outside the town to get to any place fun".

I look at Riku who looked back at me "I find video games make time fly".

"Really now?" Riku raise a brow "Maybe I can beat you at one sometime".

I smirk "Look forward to it".

We didn't know anything about each other but I knew that we would be great friends.

After summer was pretty much over middle school started, the last year before high school started.

I had gym and lunch with Riku so we would bring our gameboys to connect and play pokemon or something. We were such nerds.

One night my parents had date night so Fran invited me and Roxas over to have dinner and hang out. Roxas wasn't into it, he hung out with Cloud though in garage with his band for some reason

"Does your brother have a name for his band yet?" I was on couch watching tv with Riku.

Riku shrug "I think he call it the Cloud Steppers".

I chuckle softly at the name "Weird name".

"I know. Its out of the blue too. Who knew he was into music" Riku looked at the tv.

There was something he wasn't telling me and I could hear his mother arguing on the phone with his father about it. Clearly Cloud was in a rebellious stage in his life.

When our parents came to pick us up I went to get Roxas to see him talking to a red head "Hey Roxas time to go".

"Alright. Later Axel." Roxas went pass me. Wasn't Axel in our grade?

_I didn't question it further because back then I didnt think Roxas would have a crush on him._

Later that night I could hear yelling down the street to get out of bed to look, Cloud was driving away in van as Kadaj was yelling at him to never come back.

I see my phone light up to grab it and see a text from Riku.

"Guess you heard that?" Riku said.

"Who didn't? What happen?" I asked.

"Cloud was kissing Zack in the garage and my dad caught him. It's no surprise to me, I knew my brother was bi..." Riku said.

"Guess your parents aren't accepting like mine hua?" I said not realizing I basically told him I was gay.

"They have a plan for our lives already, they have been trying to find a girl for me to marry when I turn 18 years old. Being gay or bi doesn't register with them..." Riku said

I bite my lower lip to look at Riku house to text back "That's really horrible".

"I know" Riku texted "Have a good night".

"Good night" I said putting my phone down to wonder if Riku was gay or bi and was just too afraid to come out because of his parents?

Those next few days after what happen that night, I didn't see Riku it was weird.

He didn't even respond to my texts and I was starting to think he hated me for mentioning I was gay.

When friday came, I open my locker to put stuff in and take out a book to close it to jump when Riku was there out of the blue "What the heck Riku you scared the crap of me".

"Sorry" Riku chuckle softly to rub his neck "Did you want to go to lunch together?".

I give Riku a odd look "First explain to me why you missed all week. You had me worried you jerk".

"Heh sorry" Riku looked at me "My dad took my phone. I have been in school just skipping last two classes to see my brother to give him clothes since he can't really sneak in with my dad on night patrol".

"He is still around?" I blinked.

Riku nodded "Not for long he plans on leaving Japan and traveling with his band. There trying to find a new drummer since Axel quit".

"He quit?" I look around the almost empty halls "Come to think of it I haven't seen my brother lately. He has gym when we have lunch..." I look out the window to not see my brother outside on the field.

"Maybe he is still in the locker room?" Riku suggested to walk down the hall and I followed to go into the boys locker room. There was no sound there was no one in here.

"Where ever he is I am hundred percent sure he is with Axel" I sat down on the bench to set bag down.

"Sora" Riku sat down next to me "Seeing my brother wasn't the only reason I am skipping class.

I look at him, I knew it he was going to stop being my friend because I was gay.

"I like you" Riku touch my arm to look at me.

"I knew you stop being my friend-" I blushed deeply to stop myself to look at Riku "Wait what did you say?".

Riku chuckle softly to shake his head to move hand to my chin "I .like. you" he said it slower this time "I am gay its just something I can't say so openly because of my situation. When you told me you were I had to get advice from my brother on how difficult it was going to be hiding it from our parents".

"Oh...sorry I assumed you stop being my friend when you found out I was gay" I had sweat drop.

"That's ridiculous" Riku kissed my cheek cutely as I blush deeply.

_At that moment I felt like we could work. We could overcome anything that came our way. Now I feel like no matter how hard we tried to be happy we could never be._

A/N: I am still debating on this story. So if you see it gone again don't be surprised. I am never happy with what i write half the time lol. Anyway leave reviews and likes. Side note Riku parents Kadaj and Fran are from Final Fantasy in case you're wondering


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sora "This is my story, the story how I lost the love of my life and found him again. See what I had to go through. /Warning: abuse and yaoi and self harm in later chapters"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me explain the ages of everyone in the present
> 
> Riku, Axel Sora are 21 years old
> 
> Roxas is 20 years old
> 
> Cloud and Zack are 23 years old 
> 
>  
> 
> As for parents
> 
> Kadaj and Fran are Cloud and Riku parents
> 
> Leon and Tifa are Sora and Roxas parents
> 
> Yoko and Reno are Axel parents 
> 
> Zack parents died when he was young 
> 
> Think that clears up anything. Any questions let me know =)

Disclaimer: I don't own kingdom hearts

Story:This is my story, the story how I lost the love of my life and found him again. See what I had to go through. /Warning: abuse and yaoi and self harm in later chapters.

A/N: Liking the story so far? Let me know. Things will be getting interesting. By way Axel parents Yoko is from Gurren Lagan and Reno from Final Fantasy. Its funny that Sora doesn't realize he is in a coma even though everyone says it.

Chapter 2

_"Sora" my mother was by my bed side rubbing my hand not knowing I was fake sleeping "Riku is in the waiting room, he looks pretty beat up. what the heck happen? Why is Roxas and Axel off who knows where? You need to wake up and tell me sweetie. The detectives have been asking Riku what happen but everytime he tries he chokes up" she sigh softly._

_I really hate Axel for just fleeing. Why did he hide everything till now. It just made no sense._

_"Tifa" my father peak into the room "Riku parents are here"._

_"Coming" she got up to look back at me "Wake up soon Sora" she smiled softly to head out of the room._

_Why was my idiot brother still with Axel? I wanted to see Riku, were the detectives stopping him from coming in?_

_Let me get back to my story,_  it was december now. I got closer to Riku as we talked a lot about life. I really couldn't believe how his parents were so strict. We continue to sneak around with our relationship and we tried to keep tabs on Roxas. But he was seriously like a magician, one day he is in the hall the next he wasn't.

I was sitting in the kitchen with Riku trying to figure out date spots when Roxas walked in the house to set a bag down to walk into the kitchen to grab a soda from fridge to look at us "What?".

"Your dating Axel aren't you" I just came out and said it.

"Its really none of your business is it?" Roxas said taking sip of soda.

"It is when the guy is older' I said walking over to him

roxas turn to look at me "Oh what about when the guy isn't even out to his parents" looks at Riku.

Riku tap pen on the pad to look at it not even looking at Roxas.

"At least mom likes Riku she won't like Axel" I said folding arms.

"We shall see Christmas Eve. Mom invited his family to come to the Christmas party. She invited yours too Riku" Roxas wave hand to leave the room and head upstairs.

"Was wondering why my mom wanted to go shopping later with me..." Riku looked over at me "What?".

"I didn't tell my mom about us dating. You think it's obvious if Roxas knows?" I walk back over.

"As long as my parents dont find out its okay Sora" Riku rubbed my lower back

That's what we thought until the day of the Christmas party and mom had friends over from work. I saw Axel red hair in the crowd when I walk down the stairs.

"That's Axel mom Yoko and his dad Reno" Roxas said coming down the stairs "Where is Riku?".

Before I said anything my dad open the door to welcome Kadaj and Fran into the house.

"Sora you seem to get taller everytime I see you" Fran smile softly.

"Heh I gotta try to catch up to Riku height" I said.

"Good luck with that" Riku said walking in to smirk.

I stuck my tongue out as Roxas wave Axel over to kiss his lips cutely.

Riku parents didn't look please as they walk further into the crowd. Riku rubbed the back of his head.

"Don't worry about it" my dad said patting Riku back to look at me "Can't please everyone".

I smiled softly to go to Riku and join the party. So my parents did know.

The party seemed have gone smoothly until me and Riku bumped into Axel in the kitchen to help clean up.

"Do you dye your hair white?" Axel asked putting the dishes away.

Riku twitch his eye "No" he was cleaning the dishes.

"Are you sure your not aging backwards?" Axel asked to smirk.

"Shut up" Riku grumble annoyed.

I hit Roxas arm as he was chuckling while we cleaned up cups laying around.

"What? It's funny" Roxas said to hit me with a bag

"Riku see you home" Kadaj said as he headed out with Fran.

"Axel wait for you in the car dear" Yoko said as she put her coat on to look at Roxas "And Roxas see you tomorrow?".

"Of coarse" Roxas said to walk over to hug her.

Tifa blinked "Wow Yoko you must teach me how you get this polite Roxas" they giggle as they went outside.

I shook my head

Axel put his coat on "What you jealous shrimp?".

I twitch my eye "You wish".

Axel move arm around me to whisper "Than stop trying to break us up. If you don't stop I will reveal to the whole school your big secret" he smirk to walk away to go to Roxas to kiss his lips "Talk you later".

It was than I realize how crazy Axel was. If it got out that Riku and I were dating than his parents would find out than I would probably never see Riku again.

I looked at Riku who came over "Text me later...".

"I will..." Riku said to grab his jacket to leave.

Even though Axel said that, we didnt let it affect our relationship. We still continue to sneak around. When it was Christmas day we skype called to see what we got for christmas. I got Riku a promise ring to hang on his neck, promise that we will always be there for each other. He got me a few games that we could play "Wish I had more money to get you something nicer".

I chuckle softly "What you got me is good enough Riku. Besides more games to beat you at".

"Pfft yeah right" Riku chuckle to look at me on the phone to blow a kiss at me "Merry Christmas".

"Merry Christmas" I blush cutely to blow kiss back to end the call as I move back against the bed to blow hair up, couldn't wait until we grow up and move in together. That was the plan.

After winter break, Riku found out Cloud left finally finding a drummer for his band and so when the weekend came we went out on a movie date. We sat in the back watching a scary movie and me being the scaredy cat kept my head buried in Riku shirt. It made him laugh and smile at how silly I was, it was my way to distract him from what was going on at home.

When the movie was over we walked out "You jump at every noise Sora" Riku chuckle.

I stick my tongue out to look at my phone to see the time "We have a hour left before I have to be home. Are your parents home?".

"No they are working late tonight" Riku said as we were walking home.

"Oh?" I raised brow to smirk "Race you there" We were not far as I ran.

"Hey!" Riku chased after me to get ahead of me as he touch the door first.

"No fair... you have... longer legs" I was out of breath to follow Riku in the house to sit on the steps.

Riku got water to give to me as he drank some "The extra layers of clothes was slowing me down".

"Lies!" I chuckle as I got up to head upstairs into Riku room to remove my jacket and sweater to be in t-shirt to wave it out. Riku did the same as he looked at me "What?".

Riku smirk to move arms around my waist to pull me close to kiss me deep "Your just amazing".

I blush to bite my lower lip to grip his shirt a little "Get on the bed I want to try something".

Riku did so as I got on top to kiss his lips in gentle pecks to move hands down to riku pants to open them. We experimented a lot on how comfortable we got touching each other like this but we never were intimate. We werent ready. I realized though the more we tested our limits the more connected we felt with each other.

_Were we moving too fast?_

_Maybe but I don't regret it._

_"Sora" I heard my dad voice come in the room "Look who is here to see you"._

_I didn't wake up from my fake sleep but I could tell by the ocean type smell that it was Riku._

_"He isnt awake?" Riku said in hoarse voice as he walk in slowly._

_"Not yet. Doctors say talking to him should help him out his coma" my dad pat Riku back "I will let you two be alone" he walk out._

_Riku walk to my bed to sit on the chair to move hand into mine "Sora I am sorry" he started crying as he rest head on the bed._

A/N: Weird way to end the second chapter but I am trying to slow it down a bit. Over the months I have been struggling on whether I should even continue like this or do it another way. Tell you what if you like it tell me your favorite color. If you don't tell me your favorite movie XD. Until next time!


	3. Chapter 3

 

Disclaimer: Don't own Kingdom Hearts

Story: Sora "This is my story, the story how I lost the love of my life and found him again. See what I had to go through." /Warning: abuse and yaoi and self harm in later chapters.

A/N: Slowly coming along. I dont want to make chapters too long. It will get interesting soon I promise.

Chapter 3

_After Riku cried that night to me, he has been sleeping in the chair next to my bed. It was weird I tried reaching out to him but I couldn't my body wouldn't move. Did the hospital have me strapped down to the bed after they saw...my scars._

_I heard the door creak open to hear someone walk over to riku "Bro wake up"._

_Riku groggily woke up to look at the other "When did you get here Cloud?"._

_"Just got here. Ran into mom and dad in the hall. Fun conversation we had" Cloud move a chair over to sit "You should go get something to eat I will look over Sora"._

_Riku looked at me and than at Cloud "Call me if anything changes" he got up to move hand into mine to squeeze it gently and than head out the room._

_Cloud sigh to get up and touch my arm "You have to come back Sora. I am not around anymore. You are the only one that makes Riku happy man"._

_You don't think I know that? I wish I could tell Riku how much I love him...just like the many times in the past..._

The school year went pretty fast, Riku and I starting 9th grade next year so that mean we would see Axel more...oh joy.

Like we don't see him enough as it is, always over the house, always sneaking out somewhere with Roxas. How do my parents not see it?

Anyway it was summer break and my mother invited Riku to come camping with us and of coarse Roxas had to convince my parents that Axel had to come.

So here we are sitting by the fire roasting marshmallows talking about birthdays coming up and the new school year until our parents went to sleep.

Axel got up to grab one of my dad beers in the cooler to open it "So what do you say to a game of truth and dare boys?".

I got up "No thanks" moving blanket around me "Come on Riku".

"Scared to tell the truth Sora" Axel smirk taking sip of beer.

Looked at Riku still sitting glaring at Axel, I walk back to sit back down "Fine truth or dare Axel".

Axel lean in chair "Mmm truth" move arm around Roxas.

"Why are you dating my brother if your much older?" the question I really wanted to know.

"I am not that old Sora. Roxas is 13. I just turned 15. Roxas makes me happy just like I am sure Riku makes you happy" Axel took another sip of his beer to look at Riku "Truth or dare old man".

Riku twitch his eye "Dare".

"I dare you..." Axel looks around "To jump naked in the lake".

Riku got up to remove his clothing to be in his boxers. I blush the moonlight really made Riku look like a god. Riku ran to get his boxers off to jump in.

"How is that cold water" Axel chuckle to continue to drink his beer.

Riku came out as I gave him a towel "Refreshing you should go in" he glare at Axel "Truth or dare Roxas".

Roxas move hand in hair "Mmm truth".

"Tell us something we don't know about you" Riku sat down.

Roxas looked at me "Well I have been... accepted to college early... so has Axel".

"What?" I got up "Do mom and dad know?".

"Yes...-" before Roxas could continue.

"Whose idea was it? Axel?" I looked at him "You only been with my brother for a couple of months and out of the blue he is saying this. What are you up?".

"He isn't going shrimp but I will be going" Axel smirk to look at Roxas "Told you he flip".

Roxas got up "Even if I was going your not my guardian Sora. Stop trying to protect me" he looked at Riku "Especially since your situation is bad too. How is that long distance girlfriend you have".

I looked at Riku confused.

"Ooo something Sora doesn't know" Axel chuckle to put the bottle in the trash next to him.

Riku got up to rub his neck "My parents found a girl for me in Paris. I have been just talking to her...that's all Sora".

I was quiet, he had no choice so I couldn't be mad. His parents want him to marry a girl. It's not like Riku and I can run away. Where would we go?

"Sora it's seriously nothing. I love you...you know that right" Riku walk over to rub my arms.

"Yeah..." I clear my throat "How did you know about it Roxas?" looks at him.

"Phone conversation with our mom and Riku mom" Roxas sat back down "Heard she is coming to visit soon too".

I grip the blanket "I am going to bed" I walked away not even bothering to listen to what Axel said as I went into the tent to lay in the sleeping bag.

"Sora I didn't know she was coming. I didn't hear anything about it. My parents obviously planning things without me knowing" Riku was dressed again as he laid next to me.

"I am not mad...just upset that we can't do anything" I move closer to Riku so he could hug me "I want you for myself".

"I know..." Riku rubbed my back "I won't let her get between us I promise".

_Why didn't I just say "Let's just run away and be happy" we could of stayed with Cloud. We could of went into hiding. We didn't have to go through the pain._

_we were young though, we didn't know what could happen._

After the camping trip, summer went by and we started 9th grade. We continue to go about our lives but we found it harder to go on dates when Riku parents always had him on the phone with this girl. And Axel found that as opportunity to drive me nuts.

"Chatting with girls in the school now" Axel leaned against locker next to mine as I was taking books out.

"I have friends that are girls. He is allowed to have girl as friends" I mumble annoyed that Axel was even near me "Go take care of my brother and leave me alone".

"I am bringing him soup later. Poor guy has the flu" Axel move to get closer to me "Riku girlfriend her name is Namine and she is living with him. Bet Riku didn't tell you that".

I grip my bag to look over at Riku showing Rikku and Kari notes from class. It was only a month into the school year and I wanted to punch Axel in the face for having more knowledge of Riku life than I did. I shut my locker hard and walked off to head to class and try to go about the rest of the day ignoring everyone as much as possible.

When I got home I went into my room to just jump in my bed to bury my head in my pillow. My phone buzzed on the night stand as I looked up to see Riku video calling as I grab my phone to answer it to see Riku walking home "Hey".

"Thanks for leaving early. I thought we were costume shopping for halloween in couple of weeks?" Riku said moving hand in messy hair.

"I wasn't feeling good...besides doesn't Namine need your attention?" I said annoyed to move head back in pillow.

Riku sigh "Sora how many times do I have to tell you I don't love her I love you. She knows I am gay and she has a guy she likes already. We are just playing the part for our parents".

I look up hearing the new information "But Axel said she is living with you".

Riku gave me a blank look "Sora".

"What?" I rubbed the back of my head to have a sweat drop.

"Axel is feeding you lies like always. She is still in Paris. She doesn't plan to come out here until high school is over" Riku sigh to shake his head.

"I am sorry. I don't know why I listen to Axel" I whine cutely to give cute puppy eyes "Forgive me?".

Riku rolled eyes "I will if you get your butt out here and come costume shopping with me".

"Be out there in 5 minutes" I ended the call to change clothes and ran out the room to head outside and hug Riku to head to the store.

We got in stupid fights like that but always ended up making up shortly. And it drove Axel mad that we did.

Months went by and we celebrated birthdays and holidays. 9th grade seemed to be easy. Once 10th grade started we found out Axel was going off to college.

"You need to come here Roxas. The beach view is awesome" Axel showed Roxas on the phone.

Roxas was in the living room with us watching tv "It looks awesome. I want to finish 9th grade at least, experience high school. Don't cheat on me Axel".

"I would never" Axel tilt head "Say hi to the shortie and old man for me I am sure they miss me".

"Not!" I finally said grabbing the phone "Hope you drown in the ocean".

"Ow how mean shortie. Try to get taller while I am away" Axel smirk knowing how to get under my skin.

I was about to say something but Riku cover my mouth "Now now Sora behave".

Roxas rolled eyes to grab his phone back to go back to talking to Axel to head upstairs.

"I wish I could punch him through the phone" I puff my cheeks cutely.

Riku chuckle softly to move arms around my waist "Such a fiesty boyfriend I have".

I blush lightly to turn head to kiss Riku lips in gentle pecks "Your birthday in few days what do you want to do?".

"I don't know yet...parents are telling me I should start looking for a job. Maybe we can get a job together?" Riku rub my waist.

"Actually...one my mom's friend is a liberian and she asked me to help her at the library. I will try to get you in" I smiled.

"Cool" Riku cuddle with me on the couch.

When we got back to school, it was weird. Everytime I went to my locker I was expecting Axel to be there but he wasn't. I really needed to learn to relax. I met Riku out on the bleachers for gym first class when I saw him looking up and when I looked up I saw Cloud standing on the bleachers waving down at us.

"Long time no see little brother" Cloud smiled to notice me "Hey there Sora".

"Cloud? When did you get back" I asked as I stood next to Riku looking up.

"I got back last week. Took a break from tour" Cloud walked down to come over to us "How is mom and dad?".

Riku made a fist to punch Cloud in the face.

Cloud fell back to rub his chin "Oww...I deserve that" looked up at Riku "Home life that bad hua".

"Mom and dad have been arguing constantly about you. Mom still thinks you will come to your senses and come back home to live under the rules again" Riku shake his hand a little.

"Yeah like that would ever happen" Cloud got up to dust himself off "Zack and me are still going strong...are you mad cause I dont call or text you no more".

"Yes...jerk" Riku heard the whistles from the teacher to get everyone to the field as he walked away not talking to Cloud anymore.

I rub my head to stand next to Cloud "Welcome back Cloud he really did miss you. Where you staying? Maybe we will stop by?".

"Staying at Zack place. We are actually having a party for Riku birthday there so don't ruin the surprise" Cloud wink as he walk away.

That would be interesting to try to get Riku even there he hated surprise parties. I shook my head to go to the field to join the class.

A/N: Ending it here for a reason you will see next chapter why =) I promise its going to get more crazy.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sora "This is my story, the story how I lost the love of my life and found him again. See what I had to go through". /Warning: abuse and yaoi and self harm in later chapters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the Kudos guys ^_^. After this chapter it's going to be getting dark

Disclaimer: Don't own Kingdom Hearts

Story: Sora "This is my story, the story how I lost the love of my life and found him again. See what I had to go through". /Warning: abuse and yaoi and self harm in later chapters.

A/N: A few yaoi scenes in this chapter. Yeah I suck at writing them out so sorry ahead of time xD. 

Chapter 4

_"Will he wake up anytime soon?" my dad asked the doctor in my room_

_Doctor looked at my chart "His vitals are the same. Nothing wrong with him. His wounds are healing. Just keep talking to him"._

_Riku holding my hand "That's it? We have been here a month-" Cloud move hand over Riku mouth._

_"What my brother is trying to say is thank you for the update" Cloud watch the doctor leave as he looked at Riku "Calm down, it's only so much the doctor can do"._

_Riku move Cloud hand away "He doesn't care what happens Cloud. He is my boyfriend I feel so useless"._

_Don't say that._

_My dad sigh about to say something when my mother came in out of breath "Tifa what happen?"._

_"They...found Roxas and Axel." Tifa said as she grabbed leon "Lets go" she looked at Riku "You want to come?"._

_Riku shook his head to sit down on the bed to continue holding my hand "I want to see if talking to Sora will wake him up"._

_Tifa nodded to leave with Leon._

_Cloud went to the door "Going to get something to eat. Don't beat up any nurses or doctors while I am away"._

_Riku rolled eyes to watch Cloud leave than look at me "Sora did you hear? They found Roxas and Axel"._

_I heard._

_Riku moved my hand up to kiss it gently "Please wake up I need you Sora"._

_I can't yet I have to figure out my feelings._

It was Riku birthday and thank goodness it was on a Saturday because I was able to distract Riku from what his brother was planning. We working at the library but we weren't actually working per say.

On the third floor of the library where no one seemed to go was our secret make out spot.

Riku rubbed my waist to kiss me in soft pecks "Thank you again for the heart pancakes. I should sleep over more often".

I blush cutely to grab Riku shirt a little "You really should I love your cute snores".

"Mmm what else you have plan for me" Riku move his head to kiss my neck.

Moan softly to move hands to Riku shoulders to push him back gently against the other bookcase to blush softly "This" I move down to go on my knees to move hands on Riku jeans to open them up and move them down enough to see Riku hard dick. Moving hand to stroke his length and than move mouth around the head to suck making Riku moan softly as he moved hand in my hair to grip.

_How did we not get caught?_

"Sora" Riku after a few minutes exploded in my mouth as he panted softly.

I move head back to swallow and lick lips to blush "How was that?".

"The best present" Riku looked down at me and was about to say something when we heard our names being called over the speaker by liberian.

"Riku. Sora. You can go home. I don't have anymore work for you guys" the librarian said.

Riku got his pants back on to take my hand "You want to go home?".

"Not yet. I have a place in mind" I said to wave at liberian and head outside.

"Your so secretive Sora what are you up to hua" Riku raise his brow curious.

"You will see" I smirk cutely to kiss his cheek as we made our way to Cloud place. I had to cover Riku eyes so he couldn't see where we were going "Almost there".

Cloud was at the door to wave hand to indicate for us to follow.

Once we got inside I removed my hands and Cloud and his bandmates yelled surprise at the decorative house.

Riku jump back a little "What the heck?".

"It's surprise party for you" I said "Your brother wanted to throw you one be happy".

Cloud came over "Your early not many people here yet" he looked at Riku to put hand out "Truce?".

Riku rubbed the back of his head to look at me and than at Cloud "Fine" he shook Cloud hand.

A hour or so later a lot of people were there and were drinking. I was dancing with Riku on the dance floor when I notice a few of Axel friends were at this party and it bug me a lot. Felt like we were being watched.

Cloud sprayed beer on every one, he was so drunk.

Riku took me to the bathroom "Brother is a jerk when he is drunk. All sticky" he looked up at me "Thank you though for this Sora".

"At least we aren't drunk that's a plus" I chuckle softly to sit on the sink "Your welcome I just wanted you to have the best day possible with everything going on".

Riku moved to go between my legs to rub my waist to kiss me "Well it worked" he kissed me deeper.

I move arms around his neck to move my tongue into Riku to slide it against his.

Pulling back slowly to have our spit combine, Riku pant softly to look at me "You want to go back to my place".

Biting my lower lip to grip some of Riku hair a bit "Yes...gah" blushing softly.

Riku pick me over his shoulder to head out of the bathroom to head out the back and head a few blocks to Riku home while I complained.

"I can walk Riku" I complained cutely gripping the back of Riku shirt.

"We are almost at my place" Riku made sure parents car wasn't there as he went inside still carrying up the stairs to his bedroom. He put me on the bed to go back to the door to make sure it was locked.

I removed my shoes and socks looking at Riku coming back to go on my knees to move hands to Riku shirt to grip and kiss him in gentle pecks "I want all of you" I whisper cutely.

"Are you sure?" Riku said kissing back to get on bed on his knees too rubbing my waist.

"I am sure" I whisper to remove my shirt to toss it aside.

Riku did the same as he kissed me deeply to move me back against the bed.

_It was our first time. For some reason that moment felt so right. We knew we didn't want to be with anyone else._

I couldn't risk Riku parents seeing in me in the morning though so I snuck out later when Riku was sleeping to head back to my house as I lean against my bedroom door to touch my lips to smile softly remembering every touch. It was amazing. I went over to bed to go under the covers and fall asleep.

_After that night we felt more connected, I want to feel that again. Why can't we go back to that time._

_My hand twitch and Riku felt it as he raise his head from sleeping to look at me "Sora?" he looked at my hand to see it twitch again as he got up to look at me "Sora can you hear me? It's Riku I am here"._

_I know._

_Riku laid next to me to move hand in my hair to rest head against mine "Can you feel my touch?"._

_I can_

_"Come back to me" Riku whisper._

_Not yet._

_The door open and Tifa came in "Roxas is here.."._

_Riku moves off the bed to see Roxas come in the room. He looked a mess._

_Roxas looked at Riku as he was quiet as Tifa sigh "I will leave you guys alone" she would leave as Roxas walk over to the bed "Hey...Sora.."._

_Roxas what took you so long?_

_"He has been twitching his hand...so he can hear us" Riku sat in the chair "Where is Axel?"._

_Roxas grip the edge of the bed "In jail.. they wont let him out until he confesses what he did... "._

_"So you told them the truth than?" Riku asked._

_Roxas looked away "I told them it wasn't Axel fault. It was his stupid friend fault"._

_"Tch" Riku was annoyed "Your a asshole. Why are you protecting him?"._

_"Because he is my husband.. " Roxas glared at Riku "You would protect Sora if it was the same situation"._

_Riku got up "My lover isnt a loon like yours. He belongs in the mental hospital!"._

_"Shut up!" Roxas was crying "I get it okay. Axel isn't perfect. I love him though..." he moves to the other side of my bed to touch my hand "I am going to be begging for forgiveness forever Sora so you have to wake up" he moves head on my chest._

_Not yet._

_Riku couldn't stay in the room as he left to go out in the hall to rest back against the wall and hit it with his fist a little to slide down to sit to move hands into his hair._

After Riku birthday, school continue and we hung out with Cloud a lot to get to know Zack. Apparently Zack wasn't a morning person it was funny to see Cloud try to drag him out the room.

"So Sora hear it's your birthday tomorrow" Cloud said as he push Zack gently in the kitchen.

"Yeah the big 15" I smiled to eat some waffles Cloud made.

"What do you say we have a party here?" Cloud said giving Zack his coffee.

"Yeah no thanks I have already planned something psycho" Riku said as he drank some coffee.

Zack sipped his coffee "I think we need a break from parties don't you think. After all we have to prepare-" Cloud put hand over Zack mouth.

"Shh go back to drinking your coffee" Cloud had sweat drop hiding something obviously.

Riku raise his brow to see Cloud hand "Is that a wedding ring".

"Um" Cloud move hand in back of him "What? No this is uhh..." he looked at Zack "Really? Your no help".

Zack smirk to drink his coffee "That's for waking me up early".

"Cloud are you getting married?" I asked curious.

Cloud sulk head to sigh "Yes. When we go on tour in couple weeks one of our stops is Las Vegas and we were just getting hitch there. It really was no big deal".

Riku got up "So your leaving again" he knew when Cloud went he would never hear from him.

Cloud looked at Riku "Your more than welcome to come...".

"Unlike you dumbass I have school to finish and I have a boyfriend" Riku grab his bag "Lets go Sora." he was heading to the door.

"Come on Riku don't be mad" Cloud complain to hear door slam to sigh to look at me "Look after him for me Sora".

"I will" I smiled to get up and hug Cloud and Zack "Welcome to the crazy family".

"Thanks" Zack got up to kiss Cloud lips "someone has to handle this kid".

"What does that mean!" Cloud complain.

I chuckle softly to head out of the house to catch up with Riku "Don't worry Riku I will be here for you".

Riku held my hand "Thanks" he kissed my hand.

"So are you really planning something for me or were you joking?" I asked curious.

"Its more I planned something with Roxas so don't worry about it " Riku smirk.

After that crazy morning the rest of the day went smoothly and than it was Friday and it was birthday. I woke up seeing balloons in my room and trail of roses going out the door to raise brow. The roses lead to the kitchen where Riku had eggs and bacon made in the number 15 and rose next to it "Happy birthday Sora" Riku smiled.

"Thank you" I walk over to kiss Riku lips "What else do you have planned hua?".

"Don't say anything Riku" Roxas came in to cover Riku mouth "It's a secret".

Eating my bacon first "Uh hua" I was trying to figure out what they were up to "When did you two get so close".

"Only for today weirdo" Roxas grab some juice to look at Riku "Don't get use to it".

Riku rolled eyes as my parents came in to hug me and wish me happy birthday to give me presents "Thank you". I share my breakfast with Riku and than we headed to school. At school I had that bad feeling when I saw Axel friends looking at me as they passed. Am I being paranoid?

_I_ _wasn't_

That bad feeling continue as school ended and Roxas put a blindfold on me when I got home to have our parents drive us to the secret party. Which was Axel mansion I came to find out when I removed the blindfold. "Axel parents let me use there place for your party. There is a pool in back with huge slide. Inside has game room" he lead me into the house to everyone yelling surprise to see Riku on stage "Happy birthday Sora!".

I blushed as I was overwhelmed and speechless "This is nuts".

"I know. Go enjoy" Roxas chuckle to push me forward.

What was more crazy was when I got to riku he was acting so strange "Are you drunk!?' I said over the music.

"No!" Riku said as he was drinking whatever was in his cup as I grab it to smell fruit punch so he was telling the truth "Come Sora it's your party have some fun. Lets go to the pool!".

"Okay!" I went through the crowd to head in back to see everyone jumping in pool. There was a lot of people here that I lost Riku. I thought he was following me. When I made my way back I looked around.

"You okay Sora!" Kairi said coming over dancing with Rikku and Xion.

"Trying to find Riku!" I said over music.

"Oh I saw him go upstairs!" Kairi said.

What was seriously going on? I walk up the stairs to see Axel friend Demyx looking at me as I gave a strange look to look at the door behind me to open it to see it was the bathroom and two people making out "Sor-" i stopped myself to see the new kid Tidus making out with Riku. Riku looked at me to all sudden have wide eyes "Sora!?".

My heart was beating so fast as I gripped the door knob "Screw you!" I all sudden ran back home.

A/N: Leaving it here for you guys to guess what happen ~ Until next time!


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Don't own Kingdom Hearts

Story: This is my story, the story how I lost the love of my life and found him again. See what I had to go through. /Warning: abuse and yaoi and self harm in later chapters.

A/N: Warning there is cutting in this chapter. Turn away now if you cant handle. Its emotional roller coaster for Sora now.

Chapter 5

Why?

I don't know how I got home.

I don't know if Riku even followed me.

All I could hear was my heart beating so loud as I lean against my bedroom door to slide down to move hand in hair to grip to see the memory of Riku kissing Tidus over and over again.

My phone rang to snap me out of it as I took it out of my pocket to see Roxas name and I just threw it across the room not even wanting to talk to him.

I just needed to sleep. I needed to forget this day.

I crawl over to my bed to go in it and bury my head in the pillow to grip it and tried to get some sleep.

Not much success though. Whenever I tried I kept seeing Riku kiss Namine not Tidus.

I didn't even realize the time when I heard a knock at my door.

"Sora sweetie are you all right?" my mom said "It's 2 in the afternoon and you haven't eaten anything".

I got up to have blanket around me to go to the door and rest head against it debating if I should even open it.

"Sora?" my mom asked wondering if I am in the room.

I open the door to walk back in my bed "I am not feeling good" finally finding my voice to bury myself under the covers.

My mom closed the door to walk over and sat down on the bed "What happen?" she picked up my phone "You have 20 miss calls from Roxas and Riku".

I started to cry a little "Riku kissed another guy last night".

"Was he drunk?" my mom didn't seem to believe it.

"No" I move to sit up to wipe my eyes "Am I not good enough anymore that he goes off to kiss other guys" I started crying more.

My mom hugged me "Shh it was probably a misunderstanding. Call him".

I didn't want to.

I wipe my eyes to see my phone light up with a text from Riku.

"See he is trying to reach you. Talk to him" my mom kissed my head and would leave my room.

I look at my phone to open the text from Riku.

"Sora please talk to me" Riku texted.

I started to cry again to go back under the covers not wanting to hear his voice or see him.

As the day went on my mom left me food and I ate little. I ignore my brother trying to get in my room to talk to me and ignore more of Riku calls and text until Monday came so quick.

My dad got me out of bed to get me to shower and try to eat something and drove me to school. I don't know how I manage to even walk into school because I was at my locker.

"That party was sick over the weekend we should do it again!" I heard Xigbar say as he passed me with his other friends.

"Not a virgin anymore. Thanks for the hook up" Tidus said high fiving Demyx.

I grip my locker feeling sick all sudden to look at Axel friends who didn't even look at me. My heart beating so hard that I didn't even realize Riku was talking to me.

"Sora" Riku waved his hand in my face. He looked more of mess than I did.

Closing my locker to put my bag over my shoulder to walk away not even wanting to talk to him.

"Sora" Riku went after me to grab my arm "Talk to me".

Hearing the bell ring "I have to get to class" I couldn't even look at him.

"You have been ignoring me all weekend. We need to talk about this" Riku move closer to hug me.

It hurt to even be touch by him as I pushed him away "There is nothing to talk about" I was going up the stairs.

"I didn't cheat on you Sora. I swear!" Riku shouted. The halls were empty.

I stopped halfway gripping the rail to look back at him "It was bound to happen. If it wasn't with Tidus it would of been with Namine" I started to cry.

"So-" Riku was going up the stairs.

"No" move my hand out "Just leave me alone" I ran up the stairs.

_It was hard to even breath._

_If I knew what I knew now I would of tried to work things out but things only got worse with us._

_I got worse. I did something to ease the pain. Cutting._

_It was after week of trying to ignore Riku at school and him coming to my house and calling me that I couldn't handle it no more._

I was in the shower looking at the razor on the sink. I wanted to stop the nightmares. I wanted the pain in my heart to stop.

I grabbed the razor to place it against my arm to cut just a little for blood to drop onto the shower floor. It hurt but it also felt good and I had to do it a few more times on my arm until I felt numb.

I wrapped my right arm up and wore long sleeves. I got out of the bathroom to go to my room to see Roxas on my bed. I was ignoring him too but he didn't take the hint.

"I have something to tell you than I am gone" Roxas got up.

"What is it" I was tired and just wanted to go to sleep. I walked over to my bed to sit down.

"Its February. I was planning to finish off the school year but Mercy college accepted me and wanted me to go there now. So I will be leaving in couple days" Roxas looked at me.

"Good" I said not caring if it sounded mean.

"That's it? Good? Not even a argument tch" Roxas sat in the computer chair "What the hell is wrong with you lately. So Riku cheated. It was one time you act like its the end of the world".

"I wouldn't expect you to understand. Your not in a real relationship" I said it not even looking at Roxas.

"Take that back" Roxas stood up "No one is fucking perfect Sora".

I gripped my pants "Just get out of my room" I got up to point to the door "If you want to waste your life with Axel go ahead".

Roxas pushed me on the bed "Asshole" he left the room.

Laying down in bed I cuddle into myself. I didn't need anyone.

_That wasn't true._

_I needed Riku._

_I needed to be there Roxas._

_I needed my friends._

_I needed my family._

_"Roxas. Riku" Tifa woke them up in the chairs "Go get something to eat and shower. You need a break from this room"._

_Roxas move blanket off himself to rub his eyes "Are you sure?"._

_Tifa nodded "If anything happens I will call you guys promise"._

_Riku got up to kiss my head gently "Be back okay" he left with Roxas._

_Tifa went into the little bathroom to grab a warm washcloth and washed my face and arms since the bandages were off "Your starting to stink sweetie"._

_Thanks mom._

_Hearing the door open, Tifa looked over to see Fran come in "How you holding up?"._

_Fran walk over to the bed to look at me "I am trying to process it all still..."._

_"And Kadaj? You two still going to counseling?" Tifa asked to move blanket off my legs a little to wash._

_"We are and making it work. I just wish we could see our sons more" Fran move hair behind her ear to walk over to the window to fold arms._

_"You can Fran. You have to accept though that there both gay. Cloud is married and well..." Tifa looks at me "Riku wanted to propose to Sora when they got back together"._

_Wait what? I didn't even know this._

_Fran was quiet for a few minutes and than looked at Tifa "I don't know how..."._

_"I can walk you through it" Tifa smile softly to walk over and hug Fran._

When I went back to work after two weeks of missing it, I didn't even think Riku would still be there but he was. The liberian was helping few people as I was putting books away when I heard people whispering on the other side.

"Are you stupid? You slept with him" one person said.

"I was drunk and he wanted it Wakka" the other person said.

"Yeah okay. You changed Tidus ever since you started hanging out with them" Wakka said.

My heart was beating so fast. Why was he here. I moved hand to my right arm to press of the cuts to feel the pain that made me numb.

"Whatever it was worth it. But I heard he is going on tour with his brother so I wont see him again" Tidus sigh as he walked away with Wakka following.

He was leaving?

I finished putting the books away to notice Riku on the second floor looking at Tidus leaving and than at me. I looked away to go to the librarian to see what else she wanted me to do.

When the work day was over I walked home and Riku ran over "Sora I want to say something".

"I know...your going on tour with your brother." I continue to walk not even bothering looking at him.

"How did you know?" Riku gave a strange look.

I was silent for a few minutes "I overheard some students mention it".

"Oh" Riku move to go in front of me "I wasn't going to go though. I wanted us to work this out Sora...".

"You should go" I couldn't handle being near him. I walked around him to continue to head home but Riku just kept following me.

"Sora" before I could even get in my house Riku hugged me from behind. I couldn't breath "I am sorry" he started to cry burying his head in my back "I don't even know how I got in the bathroom with Tidus. You have to believe me".

I started to cry as well as I move away from Riku to open my door. My parents weren't home. Riku was on his knees as I grip the door knob "Leave. Go with Cloud on tour and never come back. We are...".

"You can't even say it" Riku wipe his eyes to get up "Because you need me and I need you".

"I don't need you" that was a lie "I hate you" I grip my right arm to feel the pain "I never want to see you again Riku!" I ran up to my room and shut my door quickly to lock it as Riku follow to hit his hands on my door.

"I love you Sora" Riku fell to his knees again as he made fist to shake his head "I love you".

I moved hands in my hair to see the image of Tidus and Riku kissing.

"Sora" Riku had hope still. He refuse to believe it was over but it was "Please...open the door...".

I shook my head to rest head against the door to have tears down my face "Riku we are over...get it through your head. I hate seeing you. Just leave. Your only hurting me staying here" I move hand to my shirt to grip "Goodbye Riku".

Riku rest head on door to grip his pants to get up and wipe tears away to head down the stairs to leave.

I crawled over to my bed to get in it and cry more to claw at my wounds to make me bleed again to drift off to sleep.

_The next day at school he wasn't there. He left with his brother and I thought it would make me feel better but it didn't. Tidus was still around bragging and Axel friends didn't seem to look at me anymore but I knew they had something to do with it._

_A/N: I keep wanting to do others POV but that would give too much away too fast XD. Uhh anyway until next time guys =)_


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Don't own Kingdom Hearts

Story: This is my story, the story how I lost the love of my life and found him again. See what I had to go through. /Warning: abuse and yaoi and self harm in later chapters.

A/n: Sora is getting dark. He gets more worse and surprise surprise Axel friends always have something up their sleeve lol. Warning more cutting this chapter and anorexia. This the longest chapter I did so far XD.

Chapter 6

"Hey sweetie you promised to call me every day what happen?" Tifa said as she had Roxas on speaker in the kitchen.

I was coming downstairs rubbing my arms to look over to see the pancakes on the counter. It made me sick to even look at food but if I didn't eat it my mother would get suspicious.

"I am sorry mom I have been so busy with homework. College is no joke" I heard Roxas say as I sat down on the chair to eat slowly a few pieces.

"Well be sure to eat okay. Any idea when you coming back home to visit. Summer is almost here" Tifa gave me orange juice.

Was 10th grade really almost over? I looked at the calendar on the fridge, it was May and school ended in three weeks. When did time go so quick?

"I am not sure. I plan on taking summer courses too. I think fall break I will be back with Axel" Roxas said.

I grip my sleeves to look at the calender still. Why does he have to mention his name?

Tifa sigh "Alright well don't be a stranger okay. Sora say bye to your brother".

I look at the phone and than get up "I have to go to school" I mumble to grab my things.

"Sora don't be rude...Roxas sweetie I will talk to you later. Love you" Tifa hung up to look at me by the front door "Sora I am having Fran and Kadaj over later for dinner so please be nice okay. I don't like this new attitude of yours".

I grip the door knob "Fine" I walk out the door to walk to school.

When I got there I went straight to the bathroom to go to the stall and puke in the toilet what I ate before. When I finished I walked out of the stall to go to the sink to wash my mouth and than head out of the bathroom to my locker.

"Sora?" Yuna close her locker next to mine "Its 80 degrees why are you wearing a sweater?".

"Coming down with a cold..." I didn't get why she all sudden cared.

"Oh...hope you feel better" Yuna said before her boyfriend Demyx hugged her from behind.

"Hey baby" Demyx looked at Sora "You look like crap Sora. You seriously need a night out".

I grip my locker trying to ignore him.

"Seriously. There is end of school year party at Lockhart beach. You should come" Demyx put a flyer on my locker.

I closed my locker hard and just walked away to head to class just wanting this day to be over already. As the school day went I tried avoiding everyone.

When I got home Fran was on the couch drinking wine. She looked like she hasn't slept in months.

"Sora say hi dont be rude" Tifa said cooking in the kitchen again.

"Hi...Mrs White " I put my bag on the stairs.

Fran pat the seat next to her "Come sit Sora it's been a while" I walked over to sit next to her as she pat my back gently "I am sorry kadaj isn't here. We been going through a rough time...I see you are too without your best friend".

I gripped my sleeve to look at the TV.

"Have you heard from him?" Fran asked to drink some more wine. I shook my head no as she continue "I really don't get it. I was a great mother. Kadaj was a great father. I don't know what we did wrong for them to go down this path".

"Maybe if you didn't fucking control every part of their life they wouldn't have left!" I had enough as I got up "So what if they were gay or bi? They had to stay in the closet because of your view on things".

"Sora" Tifa came in with bowls of chips "What has gotten into you?".

"They were both gay?" Fran set glass down slowly in shock and she was quiet.

"Yes and I wasn't only Riku best friend I was his..." I couldn't even say it.

"That's enough Sora" Tifa move hand to my arm and I move back to just grab my bag and head upstairs. She sigh to look at Fran "Fran do you need to talk..".

"I have to go" Fran said as she gather her stuff and left.

That was the start of when my mom started to notice something was really wrong with me. Than on the last day of school when I punch Demyx in the face for telling me about the stupid party again. When I got home that day my mom sat on the couch with my razors and garbage of my bloody bandages on the table.

"Sora what is this?" Tifa got up "Have you been harming yourself".

"No" she could clearly tell I was lying and I was about to head upstairs but my dad came down.

"Take the sweater off Sora" my dad said as he looked at me.

I was about to run out the house but my dad grab my hood to pull me back to move my sweater sleeves up to see my bandage arms.

"Sora..." my mom looked so upset as she had hand over mouth "Did the break up with Riku really lead you to this?".

I was quiet as I move my sleeves back down.

"Answer your mother Sora" Leon said.

"Yes...it took the pain away" I mumble.

My parents moved to hug me and my mom said "We will get you help sweetie". After she said that I went to counseling throughout the whole summer. Did it help? It got me to eat again and I stop cutting but the thought of doing it was still there. Like it was my only way to forget Riku but I found other ways as 11th grade started.

"Sora how was your summer!" Selphie said coming up to me in class

"It was boring" I said taking my books out.

"Oh...well I am having party at my house for my birthday Saturday you should come" Selphie smirked.

"Sure I will be there" I will sneak out if I have to since my parents wouldn't even let me close my door now. They monitor everything I did. They even told Roxas about my whole situation and I got a few text from him but I never read them. I wanted nothing to do with him.

After that fight when school ended Axel friends started looking at me again. Like they wanted revenge for hurting one of their members so I had to be careful.

That day of the party came and I told my parents I had to work and was sleeping over Kairi house who they knew but instead I went to the party at Selphie home.

"Happy birthday Selphie" I said giving her a present.

"Hey Sora welcome to the party. The party is downstairs. Thanks for the present" Selphie put it with the presents on the table.

"No problem" hearing the music as we went downstairs to see a lot of people dancing with disco lights. Selphie went to her friends as I went to the table of drinks to look at the beer and than open it to start drinking than going on the dance floor to dance. I had no clue what to expect from being idiot and getting drunk but the next thing I knew I was kissing a few guys on the dance floor until I got into one of their cars to make out with them in the back.

I think his name was Pence, one of Roxas friends. He wasn't the car I woke up in though. When I woke up I had huge hang over to groan to move hand in hair "What happen" I said to no one in particular but I got a answer.

"Well your in my car for starters" Tidus said opening his car door with coffee in his hand "You were wasted man".

_Why_

I sat up too quickly holding my head to look at Tidus "Did we...".

_Why didn't you punch him?_

"No but you kissed a lot of guys last night...slut" tidus chuckle softly.

_Who was I?_

"Shut up" I groan to try to get out of Tidus car but Tidus push me back to give me a bucket.

Before I could ask what it was for I puke "Listen let me take you out to breakfast before you go back home hua".

_Why was he being so nice!_

"Uhh sure" I rest head against the bucket.

_I didn't get how I connected with him._

_I really went down a dark path with him._

_He was riku replacement._

_"How the hell did Tidus escape?" Roxas said on the phone as he came in my room with Axel on speaker._

_"No clue but I have a feeling he will be looking for Sora so just be careful until than" Axel said as he seemed to care._

_Wait why did he care?_

_Roxas sigh to look at me "I am more worried about you Axel. How long can they keep you locked up?"._

_"They don't have enough evidence on me so they could place me on house arrest which really sucks. Anything new with Sora?" Axel asked._

_"He flinches a lot like he is dreaming. So he is in there somewhere. It's been 7 months I had to drag Riku out the other day to get him to go home and sleep" Roxas sat on the bed "Who knows when he will wake up"._

_"Damm well you make sure to get rest too alright. I am out of talk minutes over here. I love you" Axel said._

_"I love you too" Roxas hung up to look at me "Guess you heard" he move hand to mine "What are you dreaming of?"._

_I am sorry Roxas but I can't wake up yet. Keep that psycho away from me though._

A month into the school year, my parents met Tidus a few times when he came over to see if I wanted to hang out. They seemed to like him so as long as I did my school work first they let me go. He knew where the parties were so we had a few drinks and for some reason I went off kissing other boys I seriously didn't know what my problem was but Tidus had to drag me out and bring me home.

"Tidus would you like to come to our Thanksgiving party.?" Leon asked as he was walking to the door with Tifa "I know it's only couple days away so sorry for the short notice".

Tidus chuckle softly as he close his book "Its fine. I just have to ask my brother but it should be fine since he goes to his girlfriend family house".

"Leaving you behind? How awful." Tifa looked at Leon "think a 20 pound Turkey should do it".

Leon smiled to look at me "we will be back. If you decide to go out just call us Sora".

"Will do" I watch them leave to look back at Tidus "So show me more the pictures you took".

Tidus closed his books to open his phone to show me the party the other night "You made out with all of Axel friends man and I don't even think they even remember. Oh and for some reason you felt the need to take your shirt off and throw it, your attention slut now".

I rubbed the back of my head to have sweat drop "Next level status nice".

"I am curious though...why do you have so many scars?" Tidus looked at me.

"I rather not talk about it" I closed my books to get up and go into the kitchen "It's in the past".

"I have them too you know...on my legs" Tidus tap his phone on his chin "My brother thought moving somewhere else would help me adjust with my parents death".

I looked back at tidus curious "Show me" I came back with a water to drink slowly.

"Not here." Tidus grabbed my hand to lead me into my room and than let go to remove his pants to be in his boxers to show me his thighs to point "Here and also..." he lifted his shirt to show his back with couple scars "I got into bad fights at my other school...".

I walked over to touch his back "That is crazy...".

"Now you" Tidus moved to sit on my bed.

I blush softly, why did I like him telling me what to do? I removed my shirt to show the scars to move my fingers on them "I did a lot but never to the point where it would kill me...I just wanted to feel numb".

Tidus got back up to touch my arms to look at me to move closer to kiss me gentle. "How does this feel" he move forward as I walk back to hit against the close door to feel him pin my hands to it to kiss me deeper this time

Why did it feel right and so wrong at the same time? Panting soft when the kiss was broken to look at Tidus with half eyes "Your lips are so soft..." I whispered "Make me feel again Tidus" I begged

Tidus smirk "as you wish" he pulls me away from the door to get on the bed.

_That day was a mistake. I knew it was but I was so messed up that I made myself believe that I needed Tidus to help me forget everything._

When Thanksgiving came, Roxas and Axel came with Axel parents and mother just couldn't stop hugging Roxas and looking him over to make sure he didn't lose weight or anything.

I was on the couch with Tidus looking at pictures on his phone to chuckle softly. Axel wasn't even looking at me as he was telling stories to Tifa and Leon about college. Roxas on the other hand kept looking at me time to time like he wanted to say something.

When we all finish eating and the kids had to clean up, I was stuck with Roxas on dish duty while the adults went in back to have a few drinks.

"See your close with Tidus now" Roxas said drying a dish.

"Yeah I should be we are a couple now" I lied, we didn't put a label on what we were yet. Just wanted to see what Roxas would say.

"Wow...that's...great" Roxas said biting his tongue.

I rolled my eyes to give him another dish to dry.

"Why haven't you answered my texts?" Roxas put the dish away.

"Have you been texting?" I shrugged not caring "Who knew".

"Thats it" Roxas grabbed my hand to get me in the bathroom to close it "What the fuck is wrong with you? Dating Tidus. Out of all the people in the school your dating Tidus".

I fold my arms "I could say the same thing about Axel. But like you don't give a fuck what I say so I am not going to give a fuck what you say".

Roxas move hands in his hair frustrated "Uhh seriously. What would Riku say about this?".

I shrug not caring "Riku could be dead for all we know".

"He isn't-" Roxas was about to say something else but there was a knock at the door.

"Sora are you okay?" Tidus asked.

I open the door "Of coarse. Just brothers talking" I chuckle softly to get out the bathroom to kiss Tidus lips "Help me finish the dishes".

Tidus and Roxas glare at each before they went separate ways. After we finished cleaning up Axel parents left and than Axel left with Roxas.

"Thank you so much for the food Mrs Heart. Is it alright if I sleep over?" Tidus asked.

"No problem dear. Of course you can. Sora you have sleeping bag right? He can stay in your room" Tifa smiled.

"Yes. Come on Tidus give you some clothes to burrow" I went up with Tidus to close the door to go to my closet to take out sleeping bag.

"So you and Roxas don't get along hua" Tidus asked sitting on my bed.

"Pfft of course not. He thinks dating Axel is a good thing" I set up the sleeping bag even though I knew Tidus wouldn't sleep in it.

Tidus shook his head "No one is perfect Sora".

"So I heard" I smirk to walk back to Tidus to give him the clothes.

"Do I have to teach you lesson slut" Tidus pulls me into his lap.

"Mmm maybe you do" I smirk to bite Tidus lower lip to chuckle when he picks me up to get me on the bed to kiss me deep.

_What was seriously wrong with me?_

A/n: Ending this chapter here. What do you think Tidus is really up to? Poor Sora though. Until next time guys

 


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Don't own Kingdom Hearts

Story: This is my story, the story how I lost the love of my life and found him again. See what I had to go through. /Warning: abuse and yaoi and self harm in later chapters.

A/N: This chapter we get to see Riku again yay XD. And you get to see how Tidus changed Sora so much. Slowly you get bits and pieces of what really happen to break Sora and Riku up.

Chapter 7

After the holidays passed, Tidus got a job at a cafe so I didn't get to see him for a few hours but he text me a lot to see what I was doing. At school it was the same thing, he actually made it bearable.

For my birthday Tidus had a party at his house after he took me to breakfast, went to movies and took me to the mall to let me shop around. The whole 11th grade was there and they knew Tidus and me were a thing even though we didn't label ourselves yet.

I went to the bar to try a few new drinks Tidus wanted me try and before you knew it I was dancing with everyone with scream music blasting from the radio. The next thing I knew I was in the bathroom arguing with Tidus.

"He spanked my ass so what!" I said loud over the music.

Tidus push me hard against the door "You don't let anyone fucking touch you. Only me Sora only me".

I pushed back "I am not your fucking property Tidus".

Tidus put me in head lock and we wrestle in the bathroom to fall in the tub.

"Oww" I chuckle softly rubbing my head

"Your such a klutz" Tidus chuckle to get up rubbing his butt and helping me out.

I push him "Your fault asshole".

Tidus grab my hands to pin against the door to kiss me roughly as I move leg around his waist to keep him close.

We had stupid arguments like that when we were drunk.

I woke up in Tidus bed to groan softly at the sun peaking in the window to turn the other side to notice Tidus wasn't in the bed. I sat up to move hand in hair to grab my boxers and tidus sweats to put on to head to the bathroom to brush my teeth and hair to look at myself in the mirror. I had so many hickeys on chest to blush cutely. I head downstairs to see Tidus cleaning up as I grab a bag to help out "Any dead bodies?".

Tidus chuckle softly "No" he walk over to kiss my lips gently "I made breakfast. Go eat I got this".

I nodded to head in kitchen to eat eggs and bacon to look at the note saying my name on it to raise brow to read it "Be my boyfriend" I blush softly to look over at Tidus leaning against the wall in his boxers "Seriously?".

"I wouldn't joke about it. Say yes" Tidus smirk.

I ate some bacon and drink some coffee to walk over to Tidus "Yes" kiss his lips cutely.

"Good" Tidus smirk to kiss me back

"Tidus what is this mess?" Tidus brother Shuyin came in front door with his girlfriend. I think her name was Lenne.

"It was party for Sora birthday. We are cleaning it don't worry" Tidus wave hand as he went back to cleaning.

"Don't forget the whip cream on your car" Shuyin looked at me "Happy late birthday Sora" he would head upstairs with his girlfriend.

"Thanks" I gave a wave to eat the rest the breakfast. Tidus brother wasn't that social but he seemed okay with everything that went on.

After my crazy birthday party, school went by and summer came. During the summer me and Tidus went on vacation with my parents to Florida and celebrated Tidus birthday. Glad we had separate rooms from my parents because I stripped dance for tidus and he chain me on the bed to have his way with me. It was a wild night.

Everyday with Tidus was amazing.

_Liar_

After summer went, 12th grade started. Our last year of high school and we had to start looking at colleges. Mercy college was our last choice. The problem was that I knew with my not so great grades that I only get accepted to Mercy college where Roxas and Axel was. Oh joy.

Tidus got accepted to two colleges. One was Saint Mark's College that was only a hour away from Mercy and the other was Garden College that was so far away.

"Fuck" I looked at my Mercy accepted letter in the empty classroom "Like why do we have to be separated" leaning back into Tidus.

"Chill out. Since your driving now we can take turns seeing each other over weekend. And there is Skype" Tidus didn't seemed worried as he move arms around my waist to rest head on my shoulder "We will make it work I promise" he kissed my neck.

I bite my lower lip "I will hold you to that promise" I moan all sudden from the sudden vibration on my dick.

"How is that cock ring" Tidus smirk as he always found new ways to drive me nuts. He pushed me forward so I could bend of the desk.

We spent everyday together making most of the time together and than fun Thanksgiving came again and we had Thanksgiving at Axel parents house this time.

"We are engaged" Roxas showed the ring on his finger at the dinner table.

Tidus raise brow "And I thought I was nuts" he whisper to me.

I move hand to mouth to hide the silent chuckle but I got a glare from Roxas anyway.

"That's great honey...please tell me your waiting until your 18 years old so it can be legit or you planning to go to Vegas?" Tifa asked hoping it was the first answer.

"We plan to have a big wedding mom once I turn 18 in two years. I am still undecided what I want to do so I am taking more classes in college at the moment" Roxas ate some turkey glaring at Tidus.

"At least you have a plan son I am proud" Leon said to look at me "Maybe you can show Sora around since he will be there now".

"Oh" Axel said looking at me "No Tidus?"

_Like he was really surprised? Asshole._

"Sadly no. But I will be at Saint Marks. Come visit him when I can" Tidus took a drink of his coke to look at Roxas who was still glaring at him.

Reno had sweat drop at the stare off between Roxas and Tidus "Right well Leon the game is on. Let's go see who is winning" he got up with Leon to head to the theater room.

Yoko roll eyes "Men" she looked at Tifa "Tifa have you heard from Fran at all?".

"She isn't talking to me sadly" Tifa got up with her plate to head to the kitchen.

Yoko got up to grab her plate "That is a shame. I was going to invite her to Roxas and Axel wedding" they had a conversation going on the kitchen.

"Isn't Cloud back in town?" Axel looked at Roxas.

"He is" Roxas seemed to enjoy his answer way too much.

Tidus got up to fling mash potatoes in Roxas face. I couldn't stop chuckling.

"What the fuck" Roxas hit his hands on the table to stand up "What is your problem".

Axel shook his head not even bothering to stop Roxas.

"You are. Pain in my ass being mister perfect. Who you trying to impress?" Tidus fold arms.

"Hey now no fighting. Come help with the dishes" Yoko said from the kitchen as Roxas and Tidus grumble annoyed bringing the dishes to the kitchen leaving me with Axel.

"I am sorry about Roxas. Once he is mad you really can't stop him" Axel sigh to get up "He wanted you to be his best man too".

"Pfft yeah okay" I looked away "Like I believe anything you say".

"Understandable I guess" Axel move around the table with his plate to stop behind me to whisper in my ear "Than you wont believe me when I say Riku been at school since 12th grade started for you guys".

_Seriously how did you know?_

I grabbed some potatoes and put in Axel face "You may be marrying my brother but you will never be family to me after what you did to me" I whisper.

"Nice Sora" Tidus gave me a high five coming back over to chuckle.

Axel twitch his eye to grab some potatoes and almost hit me but got Yoko coming back "Crap mom I am sorry!" he went over with a towel to help clean her.

_You didn't deny it though._

I was laughing with Tidus out the door "See you at home mom".

Tifa pinch her nose to sigh softly to wave "Alright".

Roxas ran out to catch up to us in the car "Next time I see you Tidus your dead".

"Oh good luck with that small fry" Tidus gave Roxas the finger driving fast away "What a douchebag".

"I know" I rest feet on the dashboard.

"What did Axel tell you anyway?" Tidus asked curious.

"He told me Riku was back at school. He seems to think bringing up my ex will bug me" I look over at Tidus "It doesn't".

_Liar_

Tidus looked at me "Good. Even though I never seen him around so Axel could be lying".

He wasn't.

When I got back to school I notice Cloud van parked in the back. Tidus was home sick today so I had to go see him later but I couldn't help but feel that Axel friends were not watching me anymore because he was here.

Why did I care though?

I shook my head to just go about my day texting Tidus to check up on him time to time. When the end of day came I went to Tidus teachers to get the homework. I had to go to detention room for one teacher and Riku was there with short hair.

Riku looked at me when I was talking to the teacher and than I left. So it was true he was back. I went to my Saturn car and would head to Tidus house. I had a key so I let myself in to head upstairs to Tidus bedroom to see him sleeping cuddle in the blanket.

I walk to his desk to set his homework down and took out the soup to see tidus stir a little "Hey how you feeling".

"Cold" Tidus voice sounded so hoarse to look at me.

"I got soup" I walk over to sit down to feel his head "I would lay with you but I seriously don't want to get sick".

Tidus sat up to take the soup to eat it "Thanks for the soup. At least you came to visit ".

"Your my boyfriend of coarse I come take care of you idiot" I rolled eyes to kiss his head to get up to grab another sweater for Tidus "Sweat the sickness out" I help put it on.

"I feel like a eskimo" Tidus could hardly move.

I chuckle softly to lay him down "Just get better weirdo" I made sure his phone was near him and would leave when he was drifting back to sleep.

The next few days Tidus wasn't there so I did my best to get through the day. Until it was Friday and Xemnas one of Axel friends thought it was cool to start flirting with me at my locker.

"We should go to the club tonight Sora. Get so drunk and have drunken sex" Xemnas move hand on my waist.

I close my locker to slap Xemnas hand away "I am not a slut anymore. I am Tidus property now. Go flirt with someone else" I was about to leave but he grabbed my arm and I was about to turn to punch him but Riku out of the blue punched him into the lockers.

"Thanks for putting snakes in my locker again" Riku shook his hand.

Xemnas got up to rub his mouth "Your dead White".

Before they could touch each other one of the teachers got them and somehow I got sucked into it as I sat in the back with my phone still to text Tidus about getting detention over a stupid fight and would be there soon.

Xemnas whisper at me "So about that date".

"Seriously?" I gave him a blank look "Take the hint jackass".

Riku looked back at us.

"What? You want some White" Xemnas smirked as he didn't get it clearly

"I wouldn't want whatever disease you have from sleeping with so many people" Riku said with a smirk.

Xemnas glare at Riku and was about to say something but teacher told Xemnas and few others to leave.

I shook my head to move hand in hair to look back at my phone to text Tidus back a few times before we were finally allowed to leave. Riku went out the same entrance to stop walking "Sora we haven't gotten chance to talk".

I stopped to turn to look back at Riku "So your back how was tour?".

"It was insane. I got to meet Namine. I helped her convince her parents that she loved another and wanted to be with him. They took it well" Riku rubbed the back of his head "I heard from Roxas what was going on. Did you seriously cut yourself".

"Yes" I walk over to move my sleeves up to show him.

"And now your drinking. What the hell is going on with you?" Riku looked at me.

"Its none of your business" I said walking away.

"And dating Tidus after what he did" Riku followed me.

I stopped at my car to look at Riku "He didn't do anything. Axel is behind the whole thing so it wasn't Tidus fault. It was yours".

"Mine?" Riku move hand in hair "I was drugged how the hell was that my fault".

I looked at Riku to grip my car door handle "Are we seriously having this fight right now. It was years ago. I moved on so should you".

_I didn't move on. Feelings for Riku was still there. Why didn't I see that?_

"Roxas was right didn't believe him but you definitely changed" Riku sigh to walk away.

I got in my car to drive away to head to Tidus place. Sat in car few minutes "Asshole" annoyed with Riku even having the nerve to talk to me. I got out of the car to go see Tidus

Once Tidus was back in school, everything went back to normal. I didn't see Riku and Axel friends didn't bug me.

Prom came and then graduation came. We all went our separate ways after that. I was already missing Tidus and I was headed to Mercy college.

When I got to my dorm, It was on the 3rd floor room 312. I opened my room and there was no room mate yet so i got to pick my bed by the window. There was a little kitchen and bathroom. Everything was good until Riku walked in

"Your my roommate?" I asked to walk over to grab his papers to make sure.

"Guess so. Roxas and Axel are actually down the hall at room 320" Riku put his suitcase on the bed.

Move hand in hair to hear my phone to grab it to answer the skype call from Tidus "Hey Just got settle in" I walked into the hall "Roxas and axel are apparently down the hall".

"Damm. and who is your roommate?" Tidus asked.

"Your not going to believe it but its Riku" I rubbed my face "Going to try to see if I can change my room".

"You have no luck Sora" Tidus chuckle softly to take a sip of his coffee "Just try to not be in the room. I will be over on weekends".

I sigh to have hand on neck "Alright call me later. I love you".

_No you don't._

"Love you too" Tidus ended the call.

College was already starting out so great.

A/N: I had to put Riku and Sora in the same room it was just too funny XD. Any questions let me know guys. Until next time!

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Don't own Kingdom Hearts

Story: This is my story, the story how I lost the love of my life and found him again. See what I had to go through. /Warning: abuse and yaoi and self harm in later chapters.

A/N: This chapter Riku starts seeing how Sora is with Tidus and what happened at the party is finally revealed. The more I write this story the more I feel like doing the other POVS will makes sense XD uhh my struggles. Any way enjoy the craziness.

Chapter 8

Unbelievable

I went to the office to see if I could change my room and they couldn't do it until maybe next year. So instead of going back to the room I roamed around the campus to get familiar and ended up grabbing lunch from the college cafeteria I made my way back to the room.

"Couldn't change rooms hua" Riku said eating chips on the bed while looking at his laptop.

"No" I said putting a bag on my bed to take out the white tape to put it on the floor.

Riku raise brow watching me.

When I finish "Right side is mine. Left side is yours. Bathroom and kitchen we can work something out".

"Seriously Sora? I am not going to attack you during the night" Riku chuckle softly to look back at the computer.

I glare at him "Just stay on your side" looks up at the wall "Maybe I can get Tidus to build a rod or something so we can have curtains for privacy".

Riku rolled eyes to hear a knock at the door and Roxas just comes right in.

"Hey guys see your settle in..." Roxas raise brow looking at the tape on the ground "Should I even ask?".

"No" I said grabbing my laptop to sit on my bed "Did mom tell you to come check on us?".

"Of coarse" Roxas went in the kitchen to see the fridge and cabinets full already "Didn't realize you two would be roommates though" he grabbed a coke to open and take a sip "What classes you have?".

Riku checked his schedule "Only days off are weekend. Have Math Monday and Wednesday afternoon. English Tuesday and Thursday morning. Science at night on Monday. History Wednesday night. And Volleyball on Monday morning".

I might actually have a class with Riku. Shit.

"Easy schedule. If you need any help just let me know" Roxas looked at me "There is actually club and stores not far down the road".

I smirk as Roxas looked at me when he said it "You can leave now".

"Fine" Roxas looked at Riku "Later Riku" he left closing the door behind him.

_Seriously why didn't I realize than they got so close?_

The rest of the day went by and Riku didn't talked to me which was good with me. Once our classes started I had Volleyball with Riku in the morning and Science at night. When weekend came Tidus came and he helped me create the curtain. Riku couldn't help but smile at how silly it was as he did homework.

"Did you find a job yet" I asked Tidus sitting on the bed watching him fix the curtain.

"Yeah at the school store. What about you" Tidus looked at me.

"Nothing yet. Thinking of trying for the cafe in town" I rubbed the back of my head "There is a club too".

Tidus raise brow "You said the magic words. Lets go check it out" he take my hand to leave the room and was heading down the stairs when Roxas and Axel were coming up.

"Oh your here" Roxas said stopping.

"I was wondering why I smelled strong cologne of ass" Tidus smirk.

Roxas twitch his eye and leap for Tidus but this time Axel caught him to put him over his shoulder with Roxas pounding his back "Let me at him!".

"You know as well as I do you will get suspended from college from fighting" Axel said going passed us.

Tidus wave at Roxas to smile "Byeeeeee".

Roxas gave Tidus the finger to curse him out as Axel took him down the hall.

I couldn't help but chuckle to leave the college with Tidus to get in his car and head into town that really wasn't that far. "Hmm hooker bar" I blink to look back at Tidus giving me a blank stare "I was kidding" I had sweat drop to have hands up.

"You better be" Tidus parked the car in the empty parking lot behind the club called Furies.

When we got out we explore the town to see the cafe called Yellow brick road that needed help so I went in to apply and got the job. It would get me out the room some more. We went to the arcade and played a few games and eat there. Than we went to the club to get to the bar to have a few drinks than we were on the dance floor.

"Seriously you almost fell into the DJ. No more drinking." Tidus said knowing his limit. I never did. I drank a lot more than I was used to and this fight started between us when I didn't leave. We were outside with the beer in my hand as I lean against the wall. Clearly not able to stand right.

"I can *hiccup* have one more" I took a sip of the half beer "*hiccup* Maybe two more. Let's go back in" I tempted to stand on my own to fall forward and Tidus caught me.

"I don't think so" Tidus help me back against the wall to take the beer from me.

"Jerk" I pushed him with the strength I have which wasn't much but I kept doing it until Tidus threw the beer back to grab my hands to pin me against the wall to kiss me deeply to get me thinking of something else.

Panting heavy when we parted from the kiss. Tidus move my arms around his neck as I jumped up to have legs go around his waist to kiss him deeply.

I must of blacked out after that because I was in bed by myself when I woke up. I looked over at my phone seeing it was the afternoon the next day.

Riku was coming into the room "Finally awake? Tidus left a hour ago. Said he call you later".

I got up quickly to run to the bathroom to puke. I didn't even realize I had boxers on.

"Drinking sounds awesome" Riku said leaning against the door way of the bathroom.

I gave him the finger to rest head on the toilet.

"Here" Riku gave me water "You guys came back here around 4 in the morning. Both were passed out once you hit the bed. My question is why your wrist are bruised".

Drinking the water I look at my wrist to see the bruises "No clue".

"Funny how Tidus said the same thing" Riku walk away to leave me alone as I closed the door to turn the shower to clean myself as I was remembering bits of last night of being intimate with Tidus in the car.

When I got out with towel around my waist I rub my face to head in kitchen to grab advil to take and some crackers to munch on to head back to my side to go through my clothes to put on sweats and sweater. I had to do some homework and I know Riku was itching to ask me more question so I put headphones on to listen to music.

Next day I went to gym and my usual classes. Riku didn't talk to me at all so I knew something was up. When I got to my job I saw Riku putting a apron on to look at me as the manager Cid came out "Hey Sora, apron for you in the back. Riku has some experience so let him teach you the ropes".

"Okay" I glare at Riku who seemed to smile at how much it bug me. I went in the back to grab my apron to put it on and came back up front to grab a little notepad to write orders on to see Riku helping one table already. A couple kids came in and I helped them to a table to get there order and ended up waiting for there orders with Riku to whisper "I don't know what your up to but quit".

"No way" Riku put the pencil in his hair "I will pick the slack for you when you get tired" he teased.

My eye twitched as he left with the meal order. I seriously needed a drink.

I didn't know how I managed the end of the shift but I did, I pushed Riku out the way so I could leave first and would head to my car to drive to a store to buy a few things before heading back to the dorm. Riku was in the shower when I came back so I cooked my dinner and grabbed a beer to drink. I didn't seem to trust myself at a club without Tidus so that would have to be on weekends.

Riku came out in boxers to move towel in hair to see me drinking the beer as he walked over to take it "Too much alcohol is not good for your liver".

"Yeah well after the day I had I need it" I try grabbing but Riku was too damn tall to sigh annoyed to push him "Give it".

"No I am cutting you off for your own good" Riku said as he went to the sink to pour down the drain.

My eye twitch to make a fist to open the fridge to grab another one to go to my side of the room thinking the tape would actually stop Riku.

It didn't.

Riku crossed to my side to wrestle with me on my bed, I ended up on top of him to move hand to Riku neck "What is your problem" keeping the beer from his reach.

"You don't need the alcohol Sora. You need to sort out your feelings, I know that's why you're doing it. That's why your with Tidus because you want him to tell you what to do" Riku touch my hand "When I left with my brother to go on tour I helped him book shows. I had to keep myself busy so I didnt think about you all the time. If I got asked out I would turn them away I couldn't do it. But here you are sleeping with someone else like we-".

I interrupted him "We broke up! Get that through your damn head Riku. I love him".

"Just like you loved me" Riku looked up at me.

I tighten my hand on this throat a little.

"Where is the old Sora that I knew. Innocent and loving" Riku kept pushing.

"He is gone...not coming back" I whisper to let him go to get up to drink the beer.

"I don't believe it" Riku got up and he hug me from behind to whisper in my ear "He is still in there. And I will bring him back" his breath against my ear sent shiver down my spine.

Why? Why does he fight for me after all the shit we went through.

_Because he loves you, you dummy. Wake up!_

Riku move to go back to his side and I move the curtain back to lay in bed under covers after that texting Tidus a few times before I went to sleep.

The few days with classes, Riku kept an eye on me whenever I had a beer but didn't say anything. I went to visit Tidus over the weekend I needed to get away from Mercy college. I got there Friday night. Tidus had his own room. It had bigger kitchen, bathroom, living room and bedroom.

"This is like a apartment. I am jealous" I said exploring his room.

"It is a better college after all" Tidus smirk teasing me as he was cooking steak and fries in the kitchen.

"Shut up" I whine cutely to get in the kitchen to jump to sit on the counter "At least you don't have annoying ex and brother bugging you 24/7".

Tidus ate a fry to look over me "I told you to not be in the room so much" he had a spatula in hand "Do I have to punish you for not listening".

"Maybe" I couldn't help but smirk as Tidus spank my legs so I could separate them to bite my lower lip as Tidus move between my legs to move hand on my neck to kiss me hard.

Tidus moves hand up to my hair to pull my head back from kiss to lick my chin "Mmm strip down and bend over the couch" I did what he asked but for some reason Riku voice was in my head about Tidus being abusive. He was wrong. I enjoyed it. If I didn't I would stop him.

After we that little punishment session we ate and cuddle watching movies on the couch. We had another make out session in the shower than we went to bed. The rest of the weekend we went out drinking and were more intimate.

When I got back to the dorms Sunday night, Roxas was in the room sitting on my bed looking like a mess. Riku wasn't there. "Are you lost?" I set my bag down.

"No.." Roxas wipe his eyes from crying.

I shook my head to go to the kitchen to grab some chips to put another light on to walk over to Roxas "You can get off my bed now".

Roxas move arms around his legs to bury his face in legs "Axel told me he was behind you and Riku breaking up".

"I already knew he was behind it. I am not stupid" I sit down.

"He is also the reason you and Tidus are together" Roxas said to look up.

"That I don't believe. I love Tidus and he loves me" I rub my neck.

Roxas grabbed my arm to shake me "Wake up Sora. Axel friends are puppets, he tells them what to do".

I heard the door open as Riku came in to see him tired as he yawn "What's going on?" he asked.

"Riku you know the truth about the party. Axel broke you guys apart" Roxas got up to grab Riku to make him sit down next to me "Listen to me. Axel told me everything".

"Fine tell us " I lay back on the bed to get comfy.

"Axel was there at the party apparently. I didn't see him because he had me drugged too. Xemnas was the bartender at the party, he had all type of drugs. When Riku order his coke, he slipped a tranquilizer in it. Tidus was new to the school and Zexion told him to get in the group he would have to sleep with Riku. Of coarse Tidus was drunk so he had no clue so he grabbed Riku away from you and took him to the bathroom. Zexion made sure no one went in there. Do you even remember what happen Riku?".

"Well we were making out in the dark from what came back to me in bits and pieces. When Sora found us I tried to leave to follow him but I couldn't even stand when I passed out" Riku explained.

"Axel congrats Tidus for being a member and than grabbed Riku to put him in the bedroom with me. Which explained why we woke up in the same bed" Roxas rubbed his head "After Sora went back to school and when I was here with Axel I notice he left me alone to take calls. He was talking to Tidus instructing him what to do. He wanted to make sure Riku and you wouldn't get back together." Roxas looked at me

I sat up to look at Roxas "Why all sudden you bring this up and where is Axel now?".

"We had a fight so who knows where he is. I followed him outside to listen to who he was talking to. He was talking to Tidus. When he finish talking I grabbed him to make him tell me everything and he explained. We argued and than went separate ways.. " Roxas sat on Riku bed to move hand hair.

I shook head to look at riku looking at me "What?".

Riku move hand to my arm to raise sleeve to see more bruises "I hate him".

I got up " Tidus is not part of Axel group so screw you" I pointed at Roxas "And he isn't abusive" pointed at Riku "So stay out of it" I grabbed Roxas to push him out the room "Go find somewhere else to sleep" I closed the door on Roxas to lock it to walk to my bed to point "Go on your side".

Riku got up to sigh "Fine" he walk over to the other side to lay on his bed annoyed.

I turn my light off to lay back my bed to and try my best to sleep. I couldn't process what happen. There was no way Tidus didnt love me.

_But that was what happen! Tidus never loved you. Riku loved you...never stop loving you..._

A/n: Until next time guys~


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Don't own Kingdom Hearts

Story: This is my story, the story how I lost the love of my life and found him again. See what I had to go through. /Warning: abuse and yaoi and self harm in later chapters.

A/N: Sora wakes up whoo hoo ^.^ but there is drama of coarse. When is there not XD.

Chapter 9

_Opening my eyes to look up the ceiling. I was awake. I move my hands up to see the healed scars and looked over at the beeping monitor. How long was I asleep for? I didn't see anyone in the room so it must of been late._

_Hearing the door open the nurse came in "Mr Heart?" she was surprised "Your awake?" walk over to get me some water to drink to help me drink._

_"How long...has it been?" I said in hoarse voice._

_"Over 7 months we had to have you family leave so they could get rest. Do you want me to tell them your awake" the nurse help me sit up._

_"Yes" I really wanted to see them. The nurse nodded to leave as I move my legs and arms, they felt so stiff. I looked at my arms again to move fingers on the scars. Never again._

_I heard the door open again "Were you able to reach them?" Not bothering to look up._

_"No" I look up to have wide eyes. It was Tidus in Male nurse uniform "Sora your eyes are so beautiful I miss seeing them" he walk over._

_I grabbed my pillow threatening hit him "How are you even here"._

_Tidus smiled "I wanted to see you again. We parted on bad terms" he move to get on bed to grab the pillow before I could hit him to grip my hands "We are leaving this place"._

_"No I won't go with you" I shook my head. I really couldn't put much fight in my weak state but I tried my best as I kicked him as he pulled me over his shoulder "Let me go!"._

_Tidus went to the window to open, we were on first floor so it was easy for him to jump out with me. I grip his shirt as he ran to his car and put me in the back. He went in the front to throw clothes in the back "Change your clothes and there is some food back there eat something"._

_How could I eat? I felt so sick. I was close to being with my family again and now I being captive. Such bad luck._

After Riku and Roxas told me what happen I avoided them like the plague. When Riku was in class I went to the room to get some clothes and would sleep in my car. Whenever Tidus called I still acted like everything was fine.

When he came to visit over the weekend we slept in the car as well but when I went to his dorm we still couldn't keep our hands off each other.

I was currently sitting in the lunchroom eating a burger while doing homework on the laptop. I heard the chair move to notice it was Axel who just sat down with his food.

"So Thanksgiving coming soon. My parents are inviting you again. Invited Riku too. Should they invite Tidus too" Axel ate a fry.

I close my laptop to fold hands "Very ballsy of you to even sit in front me right now".

"It is the lunchroom I figure it was safe" Axel smirk to eat another fry "I know what I did was wrong. I am trying to fix it now".

"How? By trying to hook me back up with Riku" I lean forward "I still love Tidus".

"Really? Guess he didn't listen to me about breaking up with you" Axel shook head.

I grab his shirt "Stop meddling into my life. I am surprised Roxas went back to you".

"Well I mean you kicked him out your room so-" Axel said as I interrupted him.

"Screw you." I push him back to get up and gather my stuff.

Axel touch my hand "I was jealous I am sorry..." looked at me.

My heart was pounding like crazy to make fist "You don't get to choose who I love. Tidus is good to me. We get each other".

Axel got up "Because I tell him how to act. He doesn't love you. He gives you what you want".

I knock Axel food off the table and grab my stuff to leave to head back into my car to slam the door shut to grip the wheel and rest head against it to try to calm down. Hearing my phone I grab it to see Tidus text about missing me and I texted the same to throw phone in seat to lean back in seat moving hand in hair. I seriously needed a drink.

So I did just that. Calling into work sick and going to the club instead to sit at bar to get a few drinks and watching a football game on the TV.

"How did I know you would be here" Riku said sitting next to me "How many drinks did you have".

"I lost count after 3" I mumble as the bartender put the bill down in front of Riku.

"10 drinks." Riku sigh to put money down to pay for the bill "Let's get you out of here".

"If Tidus can't get me out of a bar what makes you think you can" I mumble but felt Riku actually pick me up over his shoulder and carried me out as I grip his shirt. I had no clue what was going on because we were all sudden back in the dorm.

Riku set me down on the bed "Bet Tidus doesn't do that hua".

"Shut up" I mumble to move arm over my eyes. My heart was pounding so hard in my chest.

Riku roll eyes to help get my shoes off to notice tears were streaming down my face "Talk to me Sora".

"No" I was acting like a child as I move to my side to have back to him "Go away".

Riku touch my arm to whisper in my ear "That's what I did last time and it was a mistake...I am here for you Sora".

I wipe my eyes to look up at Riku as Riku move forward to kiss my head and than nose and than my lips gently. I didn't know what I was doing but heart was pounding like crazy when I all sudden grabbed Riku shirt to pull him closer to kiss him deeper.

Riku moved on the bed more to kiss me back to move tongue into my mouth to slide against mine for a few minutes before we pull apart panting hard. I was still gripping Riku shirt looking at him half eyes and my heart pounding so hard.

I had to push Riku away to all sudden run to the bathroom to puke in the toilet. What did we just do? Did I kiss him? Or did he kiss me?

I couldn't even think with my heart pounding so hard. When I recover from puking my brains out I went out to see Riku sleeping in his bed. Did I dream about having that kiss? I didn't want to think about it I was so tired as I went to my own bed to fall in it to fall asleep.

The next morning I went to class with the pounding headache to get text message from my mom about Thanksgiving. Did I really want to go with this mess going on? I couldn't deal with it right now.

When I went to work later I had a few tables than it was pretty slow so I did some homework. Riku sat in front of me "pretty slow today".

"I know" I mumble to look at my textbook to try to read until Riku closed it and I looked at him annoyed.

"At least you're looking at me now" Riku looked back at me "Stop trying to avoid me after what happen last night".

"Nothing happen last night" I move books to put in bag.

Riku moved to go around the counter to move hand to my chin "What are you afraid of Sora".

I hit his hand away gently as the boss came out "You kids can head home no point staying a hour more". I move away from Riku to head in back to grab my coat and would head out to my car.

Riku closed my door before I could go in "Sora tell me what your thinking".

Leaning against the car to pant softly for some reason "I need a drink" I was about to leave but Riku grabbed me "Let me go".

"No" Riku pulled me into a hug "Tell me".

I shook my head to grip his shirt "I was doing great...not knowing anything...than you, Roxas, Axel had to tell me everything! I was over you... "

"No you weren't. You started cutting and when you couldn't do that anymore you started drinking because you didn't want to feel anymore." Riku rubbed my back gently to whisper "I am here".

I pushed Riku away "I am with Tidus" I kept pushing him into the wall of the building "I love Tidus. He needs me".

"No he doesn't Sora. He doesnt love you" Riku said letting me push him.

I moved back after a while to sit down resting against my tire to move hands in hair.

Riku went on his knees looking at me "it's okay Sora. I am here".

My heart pounding like crazy. I looked at Riku to all sudden tackle him to kiss him deeply. Riku move arms around my waist to kiss me back. Parting from the kiss after a while I panted hard to whisper "I want you" I didn't want to think

"Let's get back to the dorms" Riku went in my car to drive us back at the dorms and once we were in there I jumped on him to kiss him and he carried me to his bed

_That night I felt so torn. I didn't know what to do. Just like I didn't know what to do now in this situation._

_Tidus gave me food to regain my strength back. I had no clue where we were going though. I needed a shower that's for sure._

_"I need a shower Tidus where are you taking me?" I hugged my legs against my chest "Been on the road for 5 days"._

_Tidus looked at me in the mirror "To my hometown. We should be safe there...ahh here we are"._

_It was a mansion that was abandoned for years as I gave a odd look "You been hiding out here?"._

_"Yes" Tidus got out to grab me to take me inside to see the lights worked "Let me show you the bathroom" he took me upstairs to a long corridor to the big bathroom "Water still works. I will bring you spare clothes"._

_I watched him leave to to remove clothes and get into a shower. The warm water felt great against my skin. When I got out I wrap towel around my waist to look in the mirror my hair was so long that I looked like a hobo._

_Hearing the door, Tidus came in with clothes to look at me "You need a haircut" he looked around to grab the knife "I used this to help shave so this should do the trick" he walk over to cut my hair short and I notice his wrist "You cut again?" I grab his hand to see._

_"You don't know what it was like in prison Sora." Tidus move hand back "You broke my heart Sora"._

_I grab the clothes to put on "I am sorry..."._

_"So am I" Tidus said taking my hand to bring me into a bedroom "This will be your room. I am going to make some food. Be right back" he left locking the door behind him._

_I walk over to the window to try opening it but it was stuck "Dang it" I notice a few pictures to give odd look to walk over and dust them off to see Tidus parents holding him. Than he had picture of me and him at a theme park to sit on the bed. What am I going to do?_

I was watching Riku sleeping as I laid on his bed naked. Hearing my alarm I got out of bed naked to search for my phone through my clothes to shut it off. I had to go visit Tidus but how could I even face him after what I just did with Riku. What did it mean? I looked at Riku sitting up "Sorry if I woke you".

"Its cool" Riku looked at me "Are you leaving?".

"I have to... I have to think what this is between us.." I put clothes on.

"I think it's obvious" Riku got up to hug me from behind to whisper "Last night felt like our first time over again".

I blush at the thought to clear throat "I will see you at Thanksgiving " I move to grab my bag and would leave to get in my car to drive to Tidus college as the memories of the past was coming back to me slowly.

How was I supposed to handle this?

When I got to Tidus dorm we were still the same nothing change "Ready for the crazy Thanksgiving".

"Of coarse" Tidus chuckle to cuddle on the couch watching a movie "We leave tomorrow morning right?" I nodded to kiss Tidus on the lips gently.

Axel words were in my head and it kept bugging me. Did Tidus really pretend to love me this whole time? I couldn't find it in myself to actually ask him.

When we headed to Axel place for Thanksgiving the next day, we arrived the same day Roxas and the others did. Roxas looked like he was giving Axel the cold shoulder as he went straight to hug our mom and dad. I walk over to hug them as well.

"I feel like everytime I see you two you get taller" Leon pat our backs to notice Riku "Hey Riku I am sorry your parents couldn't come".

Riku shrug to sigh "I didn't expect them" he looked at me and than walked inside.

Tidus was talking with Axel by the car.

"Sora" my mom wave hand in front of me to snap me out of it "How are you and Tidus".

"We are great" I rubbed the back of my head "We are making the distance work".

"Good" Leon said heading inside with us "And you Roxas. You still marrying Axel".

Roxas looked at Axel coming in with Tidus "Yeah. If I can ever get Sora to be my best man".

I roll my eyes "Yeah no thanks" I notice Tidus walking over to Riku to talk to him as they walk out of sight. It bother me that they did. Axel must of said something.

When we all went to sit down to eat we were pretty silent, the adults talked about whatever. Riku ate his food as he sat across from me. Tidus sat next to me to look at Roxas who was next to him. Roxas played with his food as Axel was trying to figure out why he was stuck sitting next to Riku.

I was the first to get up with my mom to head in kitchen to do the dishes as my mom whisper "I really feel bad that Riku parents refuse to come. They are actually working things out. At least that's what Yoko told me since Fran still wont talk to me".

"I guess Riku and Cloud should really make a effort to talk to them.." I looked over to see Tidus annoyed with what Riku and Roxas was telling him. What was going on?

"How are you and Riku?" My mom asked curious.

"Its bringing up old memories..." looked at my mom who looked worried "Not like the hurting part mom".

"Just making sure" she hugged me "If it does please let me know we can get you help again".

I nodded as Yoko and the other adults gather plates to come in kitchen. Somehow I got sucked in washing and drying with them. When I finally was able to get away, nobody was at the table as I looked outside to see there cars still there. Where were they?

"Sora they went to the theater room to watch the game" Reno said going upstairs to put tablecloth away.

I walk down the hall slowly to hear arguing. I rest against the wall to listen.

"I dont give a fuck what you all say. I am not leaving Sora" tidus said "We went through so much".

"Admit it thought. The whole reason you continue to be with him is cause you both have history of cutting. If it wasn't for that you would drop him like a fly" Roxas said.

Tidus was silent for a few minutes "I will admit that in the beginning I wanted him to spiral out of control but I started feeling bad for him so I got attached...".

Riku sigh softly "It's really up to Sora. We can't control his life anymore. Whatever he decides we should honor it don't you think Tidus".

I couldn't listen to anymore as I walk back to the kitchen with the adults and talk with them some more. Turns out I like Axel parents. Who knew they were actually that nice. So where did Axel get all that evil bullying from?

When everyone was heading back home for tonight. Tidus decided to come back to my house with Roxas who avoiding Axel still. Riku went to crash with his brother. Nobody said anything as Tidus cuddle me into bed to get some sleep.

I didn't know what to expect now with everything out in the open.

A/N: What insane chapter. Who will rescue poor Sora ;_;. Until next time guys.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: Don't own Kingdom Hearts

Story: This is my story, the story how I lost the love of my life and found him again. See what I had to go through. /Warning: abuse and yaoi and self harm in later chapters.

A/N: Next chapter will be the last chapter. Warning there is cutting in this chapter.

Chapter 10

_Tidus came to the room only to feed me and let me out to go to the bathroom. It was definitely more than 5 days and I was starting to think no one was going to find me._

_"I want to leave Tidus" I said in the hall as Tidus was bringing me back to the room._

_"We can't leave yet. There is people looking for us" Tidus rubbed the back of his head._

_"Those people are my family and friends. I want to see them Tidus" I wonder if Tidus would hurt me if I just ran passed him._

_"Right...the ones that ruin what we had" Tidus sigh softly._

_I grabbed Tidus hands "What we had was messed up. You have to understand that Tidus. You will find someone to make you happy"._

_Tidus pushed me against the wall "You make me happy Sora" he pin my arms up to kiss me all sudden. I kicked him between the legs as he doubles over in pain and I ran for it. I manage to make it to the front door but Tidus caught up and grabbed me to push me on the floor "Not very nice Sora" he panted hard._

_I got up panting hard as well to move back. Tidus was definitely crazier than before. I ran to the back to see if I could escape but Tidus knew this place so he was always there before me "You can't keep me here forever Tidus!"._

_"I can. Now be a good Sora and go back to your room" Tidus said as he went after me and manage to knock me down on the floor to sit on my back pinning my hands on the ground._

_All sudden the door flew open and someone punch Tidus in the face to get him off me and when I was lifted up it was Riku. "Sora" Riku check me over to make sure I wasn't hurt and then hugged me tight._

_"What took you so long you jerk" I mumble cutely hugging him back._

_"Took us awhile to track down Shuyin. He was getting married" Riku rubbed my back to see the police pick up Tidus._

_I looked at Tidus as he passed and than notice Shuyin at the door. "You said us? Where is everyone else?"._

_"They went to the colleges thinking you might be there just in case. But your safe now that all that matters" Riku kissed my head gently "Let's go home"._

_I nodded._

After Thanksgiving, Tidus drove me back to the college and we were pretty quite. It wasn't until Tidus parked his car in the college lot when he finally looked at me "Sora is there something going on that your not telling me?".

I sit up "I should be asking you that Tidus. I saw Axel talk to you. What did he say?".

Tidus shook his head to look out the window "It's nothing".

"Bullshit it's nothing" I said annoyed grabbing his shirt to make him look at me "Tell me".

"Axel told me that you slept with Riku and that if I didn't stop seeing you that he would tell the police I am abusive" Tidus rolled his eyes "I didn't believe it. So I confronted Riku. He told me that even though you did, you still had feelings for me. Than all sudden all three of them were trying to convince me to leave you because it wasn't healthy".

I let Tidus go to look down "Was it true that Axel wanted you to date me so I wouldn't go back to Riku?".

"It was..." Tidus move hand to my chin to raise it to look at me "I didn't realize though that I would fall in love with you".

I bite my lower lip to move into Tidus lap to kiss him deeply to move arms around his neck. I don't know what I was doing but I couldn't tear myself away from Tidus. Moving head back a little to pant softly "Stay another day".

"You know I can't" Tidus whisper to kiss my neck as I moaned escape my lips to move head back "Shit get in the back now" I did what he wanted. I don't know why I loved how he took control of my body. I was so messed up that I couldn't stop being with him even after the shit he put me through.

When he finally left and I went to my dorm to notice Axel was sitting outside of his room. Guess Roxas was still mad at him. So was I though. I put my stuff down at my door to walk down the hall to grab Axel up.

"What did I say about staying out of my life" I pin him against the wall.

Axel didn't seemed phased "It was the only way to end this".

"End it? It's not that fucking easy." I punched Axel in the face shaking hand in pain.

Roxas came out the room to look at Axel on the floor "I mean you deserved it".

Axel rub his jaw to look at Roxas "Can I come in the room now".

Roxas sigh to nod "Go ahead" he watch Axel go in to look back at me "Stop beating up my soon to be husband and deal with your own problems".

"I would but you guys always seem to get in the middle of things" I push Roxas in the room to leave.

"Sorry if we fucking care about you!" Roxas yelled down the hall than slam the door shut.

"What was that about?" Riku said when I got in the room.

I sigh to set my bags down and notice Riku was cooking "Nothing...I just punched Axel in the face" I walk in the kitchen to grab a ice pack to put on hand.

Riku shook his head "How was the ride with Tidus?".

I was quiet for a few minutes to look at Riku "What did he say to you the other day?".

"He wanted to confirm what Axel said was true than he said he was going to fight for you. Something in his eyes made me believe he kill me to get you" Riku put chicken burger on the plate to look at me "All the more reason to stay away from him Sora".

"I don't want to though..." I lean against the counter to look at Riku "We both need each other Riku".

"I need you" Riku said walking over to me "What about me Sora?".

I shook my head to move hand on his chest to push him back a little "Don't Riku. The first time was a mistake".

"That's a lie and you know it" Riku touch my hand to kiss it gently "I never stopped loving you" my heart pounded hard. Why does it have to be like this? I felt Riku kiss up my arm to my lips to kiss me gentle. Why couldn't I be with both of them? I move hand in his hair to kiss him back as he lift me up on the counter to kiss him deeply.

After that I still saw both of them, I manage to make them believe I wasn't seeing the other but in the long run it was killing me. I was starting to cut again on the old scars and seeing less of Tidus and Riku. I slept in my car a lot and had my phone off. Change my work schedule. I was a wreck. The thing was I couldn't avoid them forever though, especially on my birthday.

It was still very cold and Tidus came into my job to get something to eat as he sat down on the counter "What is going on Sora? You look like you haven't slept in days".

I gave Tidus water "Lost my phone. Haven't been feeling well".

"Right" Tidus didn't seem to believe me "Go on break" he got up to head outside. When I met him outside on the side of the building he grab my hands to pull up my sleeves to see the bandages "Your such a bad liar".

I move hands back "It's none of your business".

"Really? I am your boyfriend you idiot of course it's my business" Tidus grabbed my shirt "Get in the car going to the hospital".

"No" I pushed him back hard.

"Sora where have you been?" Roxas said getting out the car.

"Just everyone leave me alone" I said to walk away and get in my own car to drive away. For some reason I made it to the beach called Destiny to get out and walk onto the sand to go on knees to look at the waves crashing. I don't want to think about it anymore. I don't want to chose. I remove my bandages to take out my razor from my pocket and started to cut.

"Sora!" Riku run out to me to drop down in front of me to grab my hands "Stop doing this to yourself!".

I was in tears "Why are you here!".

"Because I care about you. I don't want to see you die. You have a lot of people that love you!" Riku hugged me to see Tidus coming on the beach "What you doing here!".

Tidus pushed Riku away "Leave him alone" they got into a fight. I was feeling so light headed that I fell in the sand and I saw Axel and Roxas come to separate Riku and Tidus. Roxas was talking to me than I passed out.

_And now I am here awake as I was back at the hospital so the doctors could make sure everything was good. Riku stayed by my side the whole time when we got back and than my parents came in to hug me. My mom cried of coarse. Roxas came in to hug me. And than Riku parents Fran and Kadaj came in to check up on me. Cloud came in when they were there and it was awkward._

_Fran looked at me to smile softly "I am glad your okay Sora. My sons couldn't stop worrying about you"._

_"Thank you Mrs White" I looked at Riku "I don't know what I would do without him" Riku kissed my head cutely._

_"When are you allowed to leave?" Kadaj asked._

_"Umm I think in a few hours" I looked at Kadaj, I could tell he was trying his best to accept us._

_"Your welcome to come over for dinner" Kadaj said._

_I nodded "Will do. I am starving" I watch them leave "Did you guys talk to them"._

_"Believe it or not we were sleeping under one roof for a month to get to know what happen with us and stuff" Cloud shrug to walk over to ruffle my hair "Good you're awake and safe. No more getting kidnapped"._

_I had sweat drop "Try not to" I watch him leave to rest against Riku "I am ready to go home. Hate looking at these hospital walls"._

_"Me too" Riku whisper to kiss my head to hug me close "How do you feel?"._

_"Better now that your holding me" I looked up at Riku "Tell me what happen after I passed out on the beach"._

_"Axel separated me and Tidus. Tidus pulled out a knife and went at Axel with it. The police got there and they tackle Tidus down as he was screaming to let him go. The ambulance then came and picked you up to get you to the hospital. You lost a lot of blood. Roxas tried his best to keep pressure on your wrist and he was talking to you to try to keep you awake." Riku rubbed my back "I thought I lost you"._

_I moved to get on Riku lap to show him my scars "I don't ever want to do it again. I felt so pathetic" Riku kissed my scars gently as I blush softly "Can we promise to never let anything get between us"._

_Riku looked at me to move hands to my face "I promise Sora. You are my other half. Without you I am lost" he kissed my lips gently._

_Once we got out of the hospital we went to his house to have the nice dinner his parents made than went to bed. I was so exhausted from the whole ordeal with Tidus that it took me a while to actually get back in the swing of things._

_Today was Christmas and everyone gather at Axel place since he was on house arrest and couldn't leave the house. Riku held my hand walking to the door "You sure you're ready. We can go back home and spend alone time"._

_I chuckle softly "Mmm as much as I like that idea I have to face him soon or later" I walk in with Riku and Reno and Yoko hugged me first so happy to see me._

_"Sora it's been so long sorry we couldn't visit in the hospital" Yoko said hugging me._

_"Its okay. I know you had to deal with Axel" I rubbed the back of my head "Sorry about having no gifts. I am trying to get back in the swing of things"._

_"Dont worry about it" Reno said giving me a card "Let us spoil you hua"._

_I open it to see gift cards to a few places to smile "Cool thanks" I hugged them and went around to everyone else even Cloud was there with Zack and Fran was there with Kadaj actually. I went to the theater room with Riku to see Roxas cuddling with Axel watching a movie._

_Riku rubbed my back to look at Axel "Sorry to disturb your movie guys"._

_Roxas got up "no biggie. About time you guys got here. Adults were driving us nuts". He looked at Axel to nudge his head for Axel to speak._

_Axel clear his throat to get up "Sora-"._

_I raise my hand to stop him from talking as I walked over to sigh to look at him "Thank you"._

_Axel looked confused "For what?"._

_"For stopping Tidus on the beach months ago...and for caring I guess..." I pointed to Roxas "I know you two went to Vegas to get hitched so I am still mad about that but if you ever hurt Roxas I will personally make sure you have a jail cell with Tidus"._

_Axel and Roxas had sweat drops._

_Riku chuckle softly to walk over to hug me from behind to look at Axel "How long you on house arrest?"._

_"A year so I have to take online courses for right now" Axel looked at Roxas "So look after Roxas for me in college"._

_Roxas roll eyes "Act like I am going to get into fights" he pushed Axel gently._

_"You might" Axel fell on couch to chuckle as Roxas hit him with a pillow._

_After that odd exchange of words we sat down to watch a few movies. When it was time to leave, Riku took me home and we got to my room "So I have a gift for you"._

_I put my gifts down on desk "I told you we didn't have to get each gifts Riku" I turn to see Riku kneeling down with a box in his hand to blush "Is that what I think it is?"._

_Riku open it to a gold ring "Sora Heart. My other half. The only person I can't live without. Will you marry me?"._

_I move hand to mouth to have tears slip to nod yes as he put the ring on my finger and I hugged him to kiss him deeply._

A/N: Ending this chapter here. Next chapter is the last. I am thinking of possible doing the other character POVs in another version or doing this whole story over with them in it to make it longer XD seriously can't make up my mind. Until next time guys :)


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: Don't own Kingdom Hearts

Story: This is my story, the story how I lost the love of my life and found him again. See what I had to go through. /Warning: abuse and yaoi and self harm in later chapters.

A/N: Last chapter guys ^.^ Thank you so much for the comments, kudos and bookmarks. Look out for Roxas and Axel story soon. They had a lot of fights and broke up a lot.

Chapter 11

_Once the news spread about us getting married, my mom and Fran actually started to throw ideas at us at what we could do. But we didn't plan to actually have the wedding until after a year or so, so we can get our lives back together._

_Shuyin, Tidus brother, came to visit and asked me to help him clean out Tidus dorm at college. So before I went back to Mercy I went to Tidus college with Riku and Roxas. I walk in when Shuyin open the door to see the place such a mess. Tidus was such a clean person though so what happen?_

_"What room you want to start?" Shuyin asked to give me a bag._

_"Uhh the bedroom I guess" I grabbed a bag to have Riku follow me._

_"Wish we had these dorms in Mercy" Roxas was in the kitchen "Now I hate Tidus even more"._

_I shake my head to look at the pictures Tidus had all over of us and the bloody bandages on the bed to walk over to grab them "He was such a liar..."._

_Riku touch my hand "You okay doing this room?"._

_I nodded to kiss Riku cheek cutely to start gathering stuff to put in bag. It was hard to see the bloody bandages in the bathroom too. Tidus lied about starting cutting in jail, he started when I stopped talking to him. He was hurting no wonder he went crazy._

_Hours later we had the place all empty and I stood in the room alone as the others took the bags to the dump. Memories came flooding back to me when we were here to whisper "Onto the next chapter of my life. I love Riku now" I said it making peace with myself as I walk out of the room._

_Getting back to Mercy college, I walk in to see the curtain still there. I set my bag on the bed to grab the step stool to look at how Tidus even put it on and start taking it off._

_Riku came in with food from the cafeteria to look at me "Oh you took the curtain off nice." He sets food in kitchen._

_I got down to set the rod down "Yeah I forgot we still had it up" looked at the floor to see the tape to remove it as well to look at my bed "Is it possible to combine the beds?"._

_"Yeah. Roxas and Axel did it in there room" Riku ate chicken finger to walk over to pull his bed in the middle and than mine "Just have to remember the dip"._

_"Hmm it's more roomy in here now" I kiss his cheek cutely to go in the kitchen to eat a few fries "It feels too weird being back here"._

_Riku looked at me "It will take time to get use to. If you need to talk I am here now Sora" he walk over to take my hands to kiss them gently "You seem to be so shaken up this morning at Tidus place"._

_I blush cutely to move arms around Riku neck to look into his eyes "I was just upset that Tidus lied about when he started cutting. But I accepted that it's in the past now. Your my future" I kiss Riku on the lips in gentle pecks._

_"I love you" Riku whisper._

_"I love you too" I whisper back to bite lower lip to jump on the counter to kiss Riku deeply to move hands in hair._

_Riku kissed back to move hands to unbutton my shirt to move hands on my bare skin as I moan softly loving Riku warm touch._

_After the first day being so hectic, the rest of the days went pretty smoothly. The doctor at hospital suggested I go to counseling and recommend me someone at my college. So I went once a week talking in a group of people that had the same problem of cutting. It did help it got me to open more to Riku._

_It was 4 months into college life and I got a call from Axel asking to check up on Roxas since he refuse to take his calls. So I did and Roxas was sleeping at his desk when I walked in with papers all over. I took a picture to show Axel as I walked over to wake Roxas up "Hey weirdo wake up"._

_Roxas moaned softly to slip off his chair "Oww"._

_I chuckle softly to help Roxas up to sit him on the bed "School too much for you?"._

_Roxas rubbed his eyes "What day is it?"._

_"Its Saturday. Axel was worried so he asked me to check up on you" I tilt my head "Have you showered?"._

_"No. I don't know what I was thinking Sora. Taking extra classes. I cant even function without Axel helping me" Roxas complained cutely._

_I sigh "You just need a break. Come on shower and we can go to the arcade or something" I helped him him up to get him in the bathroom so he could bathe._

_When we got to the arcade we played a few games. It was really the first time we got to hang out with each other and be brothers. We went to the cafe, Riku was working so he served us at the counter._

_"Thanks sora...I had fun" Roxas smiled softly to eat his steak._

_Riku gave me more water "I don't get why you didn't hang with us sooner"._

_"Mostly because I felt like I would bug you. You two went through a lot and you needed to have that time alone" Roxas rubbed his neck._

_I ate a fry to look at Riku and than at Roxas to move hand to his shoulder "All the more reason for you to be my best man Roxas. You keep our moms from going crazy with the whole wedding. We just want it simple"._

_Roxas chuckle softly "I won't disappoint you Sora" he hugged me._

_And he really didn't disappoint when we had the wedding in my backyard with family and friends. I was wearing a dress believe it or not. I didn't tell Riku but his face was all red when he saw me so it was worth it. Axel was allowed to actually come and he was Riku best man._

_"I do" we both said and kissed_

A/N: And this story has ended guys. Thanks for reading :). I already started typing up the next story in Roxas POV so you can see what they went through.


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